Tag Archive | "North Korea"

Glossy News Classics XI: NickFun’s “North Korean Crimes Against Humanity Almost as Bad as US”


The United Nations declared today that atrocities committed by North Korea Security chiefs and possibly even president Kim Jong-un are so horrendous they could be compared to how the US treats prisoners at Guantanamo, Abu Graib and other ‘secret’ prisons around the world.

“This kind of behavior does not belong in a civilized society!” declared Michael Kirby, chairman of the U.N. Commission of Inquiry. Read the full story

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Posted in Human Interest, World NewsComments (0)

Racist Critics of North Korea & Saudi Arabia Should Check their Privilege


The Myanmar Buddho-Marxist Junta, Jabhat-al-Nusra, North Korean Gulags, Saudi Dictatorship…

These are all kind of problematic, but shouldn’t we be focusing on REAL PROBLEMS, like campus cafeterias plundering Indian culinary traditions, or men having inappropriate postures on the Tube….

Before we sanctimoniously moralize about things in other countries that are none of my business?

Who am I to say hanging people or sending them off to break stones is somehow ‘wrong?’ Read the full story

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Glossy News Classics X: Dexter Sinistri’s “Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How”


Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on the planet.

The black market is growing there and it threatens to overtake the legitimate, state-controlled markets. The difference is that there are no taxes collected from the ever-growing black market, regardless of how many bribes are collected daily to look the other way. Read the full story

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Top StoriesComments (0)

North Korean Jokes (As Though The Country Isn’t Enough Of a Joke On Its Own).


North Korean Jokes (As Though The Country Isn’t Enough Of a Joke On Its Own).

Why did the North Koreans run over the border to eat South Korean’s lawns?
They heard the grass was greener on the other side.

How many North Koreans does it take to change a light bulb?
Three – One to hold another on his shoulders to change it and one to explain what a light bulb is in the first place.

Why should we not be afraid of a North Korean H bomb?
Because they would have to use a fishing boat to deliver it and they never make it beyond fifty miles off shore. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (2)

4K Glossy News Podcast 026 (1-18-16)


The podcast is back with more, and now, with even more original than ever before.

All of this is available in UHD on YouTube by searching “Glossy Podcast” or as an MP3 on iTunes by searching “Glossy News”.

Here are the topics covered in the the January 18th, 2016 4K/UHD podcast.

* Who actually works 9 to 5? That’s only eight hours. Do you get a lunch or is this a myth we’ve been taught? Read the full story

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Brewer Slams ‘Racist Asian Governments’ on ‘Eurocentric Curriculum’ Bans (1/2)


Myanmar, Saudi Arabia and North Korea have finally stated that ‘decadent Western capitalist/kafr/woman’ (sic) Jan Brewer of Arizona might be on to something.

Yes, they have recently passed draconian laws to prevent ‘divisive’ university studies.

Myanmar will not allow any university courses, individuals or families to exist that are Eurocentric in character.

So there will be no more even remotely nuanced accounts or critiques of Western historiography of Myanmar… Read the full story

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Our Crowdfunded North Korea Movie is Chugging Along, but it Needs Your Help


Kim Jong-Un is reportedly flipping his shit since the wide release of “The Interview”, which even his most dastardly designs did nothing to diminish.

We’re about halfway done filming ours, and I must say, it… looks… amazing. “The Interview” was pure Hollywood, but ours aims to really take the piss out of him and his absurd hermit kingdom.

Here is a pre-pre-trailer to show you what we’ve got so far, but if you scroll down far enough and read things close enough, you’ll get to see an actual clip from the movie to show you what we’re doing. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Politics, Video NewsComments (6)

Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (Videos)


There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them.

Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will be a non-stop biting satire. We’re not focused primarily on the American’s involvement, but almost exclusively on those within North Korea.

It’s a hermit Kingdom and it’s a fascinating place. Very little news gets out but our team of writers has been hammering on this to craft a clever script. We’ve amassed a hell of a crew and we’re planning to start shooting actual screen footage in the next ten days. Read the full story

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Video NewsComments (3)

Kimmy’s Hate Train Still Boarding Passengers


North Korean dictator and renowned chunky monkey Kim Jong Un continues on his world famous crazy train picking up more passengers at every stop.

We’re making a North Korea satire film. Click here to help our fundraising!

Not content with detonating possibly real nuclear devices and bombing the hell out of random waters in the Sea of Japan, Kimmy has expanded his narrow horizons. Read the full story

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Posted in Video News, World NewsComments (0)

Nightmares Prompt Kim Jong-un to Take Up Zumba


Apparently, fear of his dead father is resurfacing in a big way and has been keeping N. Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un up nights for well over a year now.

The leader is said to be suffering from an ongoing bout of the vapors, leaving him feeling puny and out of sorts.

A recurring nightmare finds the North Korean leader face-to-face with his not-so-dead father who is taking the pudgy little tyrant to task for not being such a tyrant after all. Read the full story

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Posted in World NewsComments (1)

2014 – The Year in Review: Part II (July – December)


We continue this week with Part II of Glossy News’ Year in Review for 2014. If you missed Part I, don’t worry, you didn’t miss much, but it’s here for the curious.

A couple of wars, a few natural disasters and a political scandal or two – pretty much a replay of 2010 through 2013. Check it out here. Let’s continue now with Part II. Don’t skip ahead to December and spoil the surprise ending, okay? Read the full story

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America Responds To Kim Jong Un; “Thank You For Saving Us From Watching This Stupid Stoner Movie”


Americans were especially thankful to North Korea and Kim Jong Un this Holiday season for saving them from watching yet another stupid pot-head movie.

“It saved me ten bucks in ticket prices and another eight in popcorn and soda,” stated John Gawker from Greeley Colorado. “Watching movies like this is like riding a sled downhill and purposely plowing into trees! It gives you the same sort of headache.” Read the full story

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Posted in Politics, Talky PicturesComments (3)

Sony Counter-Hacks North Korea: All 23 Computers Go Dark


On December 21st the entire Internet in North Korea was shut down by a major cyber attack. (Note- a major cyber attack in the Communist state would be the equivalent of accidentally pulling out your plug on an old Commodore computer in any other country, say Peru). Read the full story

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Free Speech Freaks Given New Hope in Ribbing North Korea


Prominent, but still sub-viral site GlossyNews.com has launched a Go Fund Me campaign to create a free-to-dowload video criticizing the regime.

The goal is to create a wicked, biting satirical film criticizing the totalitarian dynastic regime in North Korea.

The film would feature paid actors, paid crew and a tight production schedule. Read the full story

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Posted in Talky Pictures, World NewsComments (1)

North Korea Bankrupt After Costs from Sony Hack


North Korea has gone bankrupt from its massive hacking assault on Sony Pictures.

The intrusion into the depths of Sony’s Corporation was ignited by their new film ‘The Interview’ which features two bumbling tabloid newsmen who are given the mission of assassinating North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un.

This indiscretion infuriated the real Jong Un who immediately funneled the entire countries anemic economy into the hacking barrage that exposed many of Sony’s secret files including high level employee wages (which shocked Jong Un in that one executive’s salary alone equals the entire gross national product of North Korea for a year), insulting emails about famous stars (which also encindered the Prez as some were about his secret fantasy love Jennifer Aniston), and photos of Seth Rogen in his underwear (which the Exalted One kept for his private collection). Read the full story

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Posted in Talky Pictures, War ZoneComments (0)

Sony Pulls Out Just before Big Release


Just over a week before the climactic release of Sony Picture’s “The Interview” starring Seth Rogan and James Franco, the studio has decided to pull out.

Sony has received a serious pounding after hackers gained access to the back door of the movie studio’s network.

With releases of salaries, social security numbers, and AIM exchanges, Sony’s stock is experiencing shrinkage as hackers are expected to tear further into the private sections of Sony’s database. Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, CrimeComments (2)

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