Search Results for: obama
In Response to Obamacare, Medical Schools to Lower Their Standards
In order to address a growing shortage of doctors predicted under the Obamacare program, medical schools across the country have announced that they will be lowering their standards for incoming med students. “We used to accept only the best and…
Obama, You Sold Me (and All Lefties) Out
Hey Barry, hi, how are you? Good, good, glad to hear it. Hey listen, that whole debate you did last week with those dastardly Republicans? Yeah, you totally sold us out. Just had to say it. Us progressives have been…
Fiscal Cliff Progress: Obama, Boehner Agree 16,375,434,000,001 “a Real Number”
As President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner continue “fiscal cliff” negotiations, preliminary reports say that despite the inability of the human brain to conceptualize 16 trillion units of anything, both men have agreed to pretend that’s how…
Boehner and Obama Vow to Fall Off Fiscal Cliff Together
As fiscal cliff negotiations stalled, Republican House Speaker John Boehner and Democratic President Barack Obama romantically declared that they would tumble over the fiscal cliff together “arm in arm”. “I truly love that man”, Boehner said in reference to Obama….
Un-Named Elf Leaks Obama Santa Letter
NORTH POLE – One of Santa’s right-leaning elves has reportedly leaked a letter to Santa from one of his most famous correspondents: Dear Santa, Thanks again for giving me that big white house four years ago. To be honest, that
Nation Subjects Obama to Another 4 Years
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a tight election contest, President Obama was officially subjected to another 4 years in office by a sadistic American electorate Tuesday. Mr. Obama, who has endured relentless and regularly unfounded attacks from the Republican Party in…
Obama “best is yet to come” confirmed by projections for 3012
Social scientists working with computer models have confirmed U.S. President Barack Obama’s election night statement that, “…for the United States of America, the best is yet to come.” RIGHT: U.S. President Barack Obama predicts, “the best is yet to come,”…
Rampant Mourning: Obama Conspires with Hurricane to Steal Election
In what has been the most polarizing campaign since our nation was torn apart by Pepsi’s shocking defeat of Coke in the Pepsi Challenge of 1975, it appears that thanks to an ingenious last-minute October Surprise maneuver, President Obama has…
Honey Boo Boo Weeps on Live TV When Obama Loss Announced
GlossyNews.com – Hog Jaw, GA – Not since her child beauty pageant loss in Vicksburg to 6-year-old Playdo model Mae Belle Glutz has reality TV star Honey Boo Boo cried so hard as to drop her fried chicken drumstick. So…
With Exit Polls Close, Liberals Fearful of Obama Loss Flood Canada
Ottawa, Canada – GlossyNews.com – The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past few hours, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.