As fiscal cliff negotiations stalled, Republican House Speaker John Boehner and Democratic President Barack Obama romantically declared that they would tumble over the fiscal cliff together “arm in arm”.
“I truly love that man”, Boehner said in reference to Obama. “I would gladly sacrifice myself and my political future for him”.
Obama was equally smitten with the Ohio congressman. “John and I have been through some tough times. But our love for each other has sustained us until now” Obama said as he glanced at a vase full of red roses provided by his former rival.
The two politicians seemed to constantly be at odds with each other and their romantic relationship caught many by surprise.
“I always thought Boehner was just some douche bag republican”, said New York sanitation worker Peter Gibbs. “Now I find out he’s got a soft, romantic heart!”
“I looked at Obama as being a real jerk”, said Mississippi stockbroker Jules Crabtree. “Now I think he’s a decent human being”.
Both Boehner and Obama said the fiscal cliff is not about the American people anymore but about two people’s undying love for each other.
“After we both go off the fiscal cliff America will be much better off”, a teary eyed Obama stated.