Search Results for: obama
Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash (2/2)
Last time: Ok, so we’ve had the first Black President and the final Democratic President in one go. But our nation has never really had a final Republican President, maybe that’s what we’re missing? IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS BOBBY!…
Rick Perry: Final Republican President, New Johnny Cash (1/2)
Although Rick Perry is not currently in power, some maliciously devious Vast Left-Wing Conspirators™ have unearthed a scandalous document which (they claim) could put paid to Rick Perry’s hopes of running for President. The text in question threatens to derail…
Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans
A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars. Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air. A troupe of…
Gingrich Clarifies/Muddies ‘ISIS Contract’ Situation (1/2)
Bill Clinton has stuck his stiff neck above the parapet and wantonly defamed Newt Gingrich for his ISIS apologism. Don’t vote for this cynical, Mafiaesque “contract-killing” bastard, if he ever runs for office. Yeah, vote for someone really good, like…
Presidential Hopeful Rand Paul Says Terrorists Have Better Music
Cleveland Ohio – On August 6th the presidential hopefuls for the Republican party gathered in attempts to remind people that Donald Trump is not a real candidate. Among the cocks in the cluster fuck were Governor Chris “Bridge-y McHugs” Christie…
Dentist Who Shot Lion Enters GOP Presidential Race
Walter Palmer, the dentist who shot and killed the beloved African lion Cecil, has become the latest candidate to enter the crowded Republican presidential race. The Minnesota doctor made the announcement via Twitter. Early polls among Republican voters show Mr….
The Secret Trans-Pacific Partnership: “The TPP Is Good for You. Trust Us”
WASHINGTON – Global leaders negotiating the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) affirmed the necessity of secret negotiations for the massive trade and “global governance” deal. “The TPP is for your own good. Trust us,” stated senior negotiator Mickey Cantwell. “Only highly-paid lobbyists…
Confederate Flags Go On Crime Spree
Although one Confederate flag has been taken out in Charlestown, many more continue their nationwide crime spree. The populace must arm themselves against the heinous flags.
Exclusive GlossyNews Interview: Former Trotskyist Jeremy Corbyn (3/3)
Last time: “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.” Yes, nothing like edgy German socialism to warm the cockles of one’s heart. I love a bit of Liebknecht ‘n’ Luxemburg, you know. Jezza continues: And needless to say (although the…
The case against marriage equality for left-handed people
It’s time patriotic, flag-waving Americans stand up for our God-given right to oppose any minority group that makes us feel slightly uncomfortable. The time is now to raise arms – and legs – against the moral decay of this once…