Search Results for: democrats
Rationalist Party Nominates Neil deGrasse Tyson for President
This afternoon, after polling the five thousand intelligent and educated people in the United States, the recently-formed Rationalist Party announced its nomination of Neil deGrasse Tyson for President. The Rationalist Party was formed in early 2010 by fellows of the…
Obama Reaches Out to Republican Pinheads to Solve America’s Problems
WASHINGTON – Faced with increasing criticism from within his own party about his concessions to Republicans as part of the recent debt ceiling deal, President Obama yesterday attempted to explain the reasoning behind his approach during a meeting with Democratic…
Republicans Claim Inheritance Tax Owed on Deficit Inherited from Bush
Republicans continue to assure the wealthiest Americans that no new taxes will be levied against them. However, with the Tea Party breathing down their necks and threatening to withhold votes if something isn’t done to get the budget under control,…
Debt Ceiling Debate Came Down to Rock, Paper, Scissors
EDITOR’S NOTE: ARTICLE WRITTEN BEFORE AGREEMENT WAS REACHED – After recent discussions in Congress over John Boehner and Harry Reid’s plans to solve the debt ceiling crisis dissolved into gavel smashing and cross-aisle spitting, political analysts have predicted that the…
Obamacare to Include Mood Ring Mandate?
As the few remaining Tea Party freshmen and ‘Blue dog’ Democrats who are not embroiled in sex scandals stress their fiscal hawk credentials, some say it was inevitable that Obamacare would eventually feel the heat, and not just due to…
State Sues for Intellectual Infringement in One Mississippi, Two Mississippi…
Jackson, MS- GlossyNews.com -Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi announced today that the State of Mississippi now claims all rights to the use of “Mississippi” between any number while counting out loud. In today’s press conference, the four-term governor said that…
Government Unexpectedly Shut Down by Whiplash Epidemic
People who earn horse choking sums by predicting events that never come to pass find themselves choking in light of the current government shutdown. Consensus among pundits had predicted an imminent budget showdown due to efforts of Democrats eager to…
Wonki-Leak #264: FOX News E-mail Instructs Interns on ‘Doctoring’ the Truth
WONKI-LEAKS #264 Our team of ever intrepid hackers have recently managed to intercept the following instructions being given to new FOX interns via e-mail as they help the massive television and radio giant prepare the scripted material for their pundits…
Cockfighting Bill Nears Passage
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. First we want to remind you. Glossy News told you President Obama would ease travel restrictions to Cuba so it can become a new Spring break destination for hordes of…
Steps to Remedy Sophomoric Behavior Expected at SOTU Address
Whoever came up with the term “date night” to describe the seating arrangements anticipated at the President’s State of the Union Address on Tuesday night has a good handle on just how juvenile the behavior of some of our lawmakers…