XE, Artists Formerly Known As Blackwater, Open Kill Thrill Amusement Park
Hayden, ID (GlossyNews) — Soldiers of Fortune, paramilitary buffs and serial killers can all revel in the new theme park started by Xe, the artists once known as Blackwater. Fresh from getting off their convictions of killing 17 Iraqi civilians…
Oh Brother, Can You Spare Your Wife?
It is reported that a man in Germany did more than borrow a cup of sugar when he asked his neighbor to impregnate his wife for $2,500. Demetrius Soupolos was sterile and unable to have children with his former beauty-queen…
Wal-Mart to Debut Hire-A-Zombie Program
Wal-Mart, leading the way in innovative ways to cut wages and benefits for American workers, has successfully created a “Hire-a-Zombie” program that is expected to dramatically change the Wal-Mart shopping experience.
Med Breakthrough: Airport Body Scans Have Effect “Similar to Viagra”
Washington, DC (BNSE): Department of Homeland Security and Transportation Safety Administration officials gathered today to announce what they call “a stunning medical breakthrough.” The agencies, tasked with the safety of the United States mainland and passenger air travel, claimed that…
Prostate Cancer Seen As Major Cause of Prostate Cancer Deaths
A major study conducted at the London Institute for Prostate Cancer has determined that men who are diagnosed with prostate cancer are nearly twenty-five times as likely to die from the disease as men who are prostate-cancer free. This conclusion…
Times Square isn’t Only Ball that Drops Each Year
According to a newly published report in the New England Journal of Medicine, men who drink more than 2-4 servings of alcohol per day—one serving equals 4 oz. wine, 12 oz. beer or ale, or 1 oz. gin, rum or…
Happy New Year to All … Honest
Limbaugh Rushed to Hospital Drugs Not Mentioned
Honolulu, HI (GlossyNews) — Acerbic Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital this morning for what doctors say is an overload of ‘bile’. Limbaugh’s press spokesman Carson Cobain said he had little information. “Rush usually…
Bekins Moving Into The Future
Chicago, IL – The Bekins folks are bound to make moving a snap for their customers this time, for sure. Compression is the new name of the moving game for this century-old company. Soon, the familiar semi-trailers will be parked…