Historian Casts Doubt on Helen Keller Legacy
BOSTON, MA (GlossyNews) — First-time author Calvin Klavan has touched many nerves with his newly published, “The Keller Fraud: It was just a bad astigmatism.” In the 657 page narrative, Klavan posits a seemingly bizarre take on Keller, the beloved…
LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal
LEGO CITY, U.S.A. (GlossyNews) — Since its founding in 1978, Lego City has suffered through a history of controversial expansion, interminable redevelopment and what most residents consider “pure chaos.” Accusations of illicit gerrymandering — executed through back door political favors…
Sarah Palin has Epiphany:
“I just realized that I am never going to win a major election, so instead, I want to go to Haiti and help the poor folks who so desperately need it.”
Las Vegas Odds Makers Taking Bets on the “N” Word
LAS VEGAS, NV (GlossyNews)– Taking a sharp turn away from sports betting, Las Vegas odds makers are said to be taking silent bets from some of the top businessmen and politicians in the country on who will be the first…
Pope Allegedly Uses Lord’s Name in Vain
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Media outlets are buzzing as sources inside the Vatican are beginning to approach the press with scandalous information about Pope Benedict XVI. Apparently several papal aides, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the Vicar of…
Joe Biden Sits on White House Toilet With Door Open and Whistles
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — “Clueless Joe,” as they are calling him these days, seems to be losing touch with reality bit by bit each day, as he wanders through the White House talking to no one in particular and asking…
Pope to Pedophile Priests: Eat More Fish
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany about the sex scandal continuing to plague the Catholic Church: lack of fish in a priest’s diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men….
YouTube Goes Down — Bored Millions Panic
SAN BRUNO, CA (GlossyNews) — YouTube, the popular video networking site, was unavailable today due to technical difficulties. The site, which attracts millions of users from across the globe, was down for one hour while technicians attempted to rectify the…
Medical Researchers Discover Amazing Fact
Most Americans for Prosperity (AFP) members’ hearts are in the wrong place, but admit that surgery can’t correct the problem.