Pope Allegedly Uses Lord’s Name in Vain

VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — Media outlets are buzzing as sources inside the Vatican are beginning to approach the press with scandalous information about Pope Benedict XVI. Apparently several papal aides, who wish to remain anonymous, claim that the Vicar of Christ routinely uses the Lord’s name in vain.

“I almost couldn’t believe what I heard,” said one source, “For example, yesterday he was pacing from room to room in the Basilica. When I asked him what was wrong he said he ‘lost his God damn beads!’”

Another source claimed that when the Vicar hit his head entering the Popemobile, he rubbed his brow and said, “Jesus Christ; that hurts!”

Due to his papal position, his aides admit it that can be difficult to determine if the Vicar is violating the Third Commandment, rather than just expressing a simple prayer. All aides who have come forward are concerned that their leader will accidentally utter something profane when holding an audience.

No official word has been issued from the Vatican on the matter. Although after hearing this story had been leaked, the Pope was said to have replied, “Oh, for Christ’s sake!”

Author: Ric Six

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