Glenn Beck Audience at Record Levels – Liberals Stunned
The highly viewed FOX television show The Glenn Beck Show has surged upward in viewership the last few weeks with the media industry Nomitron Ratings at an unheard of 9.4 high. The only other broadcast to hit anywhere near this mark…
Colbert’s Nation Rallies for War, Raises Battle Capital
There’s little debating the power of Stephen Colbert and the Colbert Nation. It has amongst the youngest news audience out there (80% of his viewers are in the coveted 18-49 demographic, according to a recent Pew Poll,) but the bigger…
FlashForward Coming Back to Prime Time this Fall?
According to producers of the one-season wonder television show FlashForward, the show has been rescheduled to appear for another five seasons with a guaranteed story arc. Fans from around the world want to believe the show will return, but having…
Scientists Find Dolphins Could Once Dance a Jig
New Zealand scientists have proven that it is another mammal other than man that is the smartest creature on earth. Recent evidence has convinced them that the dolphin uses the most brain cells and not his distant relative the homo…
George Bush Surrenders Heisman Trophy
Faulty Air Valve Causes Pelosi’s Head to Deflate During Televised Address
It was a sight so disturbing that parents covered children’s eyes as they, themselves, gasped at the horrifying images being played on TV screens across America. It too horrified other members of Congress so severely, that Capitol Police were called…
Hotels of Hilton Suck Harder than Namesake Paris
I’ve been gracious about this for years, but at some point even the most jaded of satirist has to throw up his hands and say there simply has to be some grand conspiracy at work. Perhaps there isn’t. Perhaps it’s…
Jihadists Taking Pre-Marital Classes to Prep for 70-Virgin Afterlife
The newest Jihadists have been instructed in a rare, word-of-mouth Al Qaeda fatwa to begin learning the most important teaching of their future suicidehood — that of preparing themselves for their final reward, the 70 black-eyed virgins. So-called “fighters” are…
‘Jersey Shore’ Cast Leaves Vast Greasy Oil Slick Off NJ Beach
EPA officials issued a temporary restraining order against the cast and crew of the popular MTV show ‘Jersey Shore.’ The restraining order cited the discovery of a 14 mile greasy oil slick that spread northward from Seaside Heights up to Sandy…