Clarence Thomas attacked by zombie of Thurgood Marshall
A brutal attack on Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Tuesday night has been traced to the zombie of Thurgood Marshall. The attack occurred following a news story revealing a possibly unethical relationship between Justice Thomas and real estate kingpin Harlan…
Palestine Claims Israel Has Gone Too Far
The public posturing of Israel and Palestine continued to escalate as pressure mounts for the long-time rivals to return to the negotiating table. Earlier last month in an address to a joint session of Congress, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu…
Senate Considers Replacing Part of Medicare Plan with Medical Marijuana Plan
While the debate in the Senate continues over whether to raise taxes on the rich, cut spending on Social Security and Medicare, or both, in order to deal with the debt ceiling crisis, there is one option on the table…
Casey Anthony Jurors Ask Judge if They Can ‘Take it Back’
ORLANDO, FL – In yet another shocking twist for a case that has gripped the nation, the 12 jurors who voted to acquit Casey Anthony of all murder charges in the death of her daughter Caylee, appear to be more…
Oceanic Airline to Charge for Existential Angst
Los Angeles – GlossyNews.com – Oceanic Airlines has announced plans to institute a surcharge ranging from $5.00 to $57.50 for passengers transporting books which exhibit existential angst, says company spokesperson Macine Galvertson. “In the future a hefty surcharge will be…
Joe Biden Smacked on Nose, Sent Back to Cage
Washington, DC – Vice President Joe Biden found himself in hot water Monday evening, after his latest verbal faux pas. While being interviewed by MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, Biden referred to House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) as “a sawed-off, four-eyed…
Dominique Strauss-Kahn Claims Luck Helped in Choosing Perfect Victim
Dominique Strauss-Kahn smiled broadly for the cameras as he and his wife left a NY courtroom Friday after being told by a judge that he was being released on his own recognizance. The dark veil of accountability for his actions…
Conspiracy Theorists Sue Esquire For Implying Faked Moon Landing Book a Hoax
OUTER SPACE – Conspiracy theorists Joseph Farah, publisher of World Nut Daily, and Jerome Corsi, author of the best selling book Capricorn One: NASA, JFK, and the Great ‘Moon Landing’ Cover-Up, are suing the magazine Esquire, its parent company Hearst…
Al-Qaeda Choice for Bin Laden Replacement Rocks
Al-Qaeda made a major announcement this week, promoting Ayman al-Zawahiri to fill its Chief Terrorist Officer post, a role that has been vacant since the death of its long-time leader, Osama bin Laden. Al-Zawahiri’s greatest challenge will be convincing critics…
Study: Listening to ABBA May Raise Infants’ IQ’s, Curiosity
A new study by the Millennial Institute of Advanced Research on 2150 newborn babies in Minnesota has found a significant increase in IQ scores of babies forced to listen to old ABBA songs at least two hours a day. “This…