Pittsburgh Pirates “Sorry”; Promise to Stop Winning
Today, the front office of the Pittsburgh Pirates made a formal apology to Major League Baseball and all of its fans for having such a successful 2011 season so far. “We’re ashamed to say that, this year, we haven’t done…
Republican Senators Order Out for Chinese as Debt Ceiling Talks Continue
A reporter covering the debacle that is the debt ceiling talks has just published a story in his local hometown paper, The Times-Picayune, which helps shed light on what he believes is the number one priority coming out of the…
DSK in Desperate Need of New Housekeeper
Embattled ex-chief of the IMF Dominique Strauss-Kahn continues to defend himself against mounting sexual assault allegations. While Americans are quick to mark Strauss-Kahn as guilty, his compatriots have not adopted a similar view with 57% of France reporting they believe…
Insane Debt Levels suddenly Uncool
Just as no one knows the cause of earthquakes, sudden mass culture changes are a matter of great mystery to sociologists. History is rife with instances of these shifts. Communist Russia was seen as heroic, but then all of America…
GOP Claims Use of Categorical Denials Indicates Supreme Leadership Skills
The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies. A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said,…
Amy Winehouse Found Dead – Rock N Roll Claims Another Casualty
It’s been revealed that British R&B diva, Amy Winehouse has been found dead in her Camden Town flat in north west London. At this point, there has been no confirmed cause of death, but some speculators are of the opinion…
NASA Workers Reveal Demands
It was thought to be a bittersweet moment as the last ever space shuttle mission landed flawlessly in the early hours of dawn that day. What began in the bold optimism of JFK’s challenge to walk on the moon had…
Your Fetus Can Read… -Ish
Dr. Robert Titz, the creator of the popular Your Baby Can Read videos has recently announced his next big product. Following the success of Your Baby Can Read, he decided to take early education a step further and developed a…
Bachmann Blasts Wikipedia; Google for Causing Slow Recovery
In a series of speeches the newly announced presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann blasted popular websites such as Google and Wikipedia for causing the slow economic recovery as pawns in President Obama’s grand plan for “turning our country into a nation…
Obama Looking for New Court Jester After Kal Penn Resigns
Comedy actor, Kal Penn, announced that he is leaving his gig working for the White House in the Office of Public Engagement to return to television. Some of you will remember Penn from his role on the television series House,…