Categorized | Human Interest

Your Fetus Can Read… -Ish

Your Fetus Can Read… -Ish

Dr. Robert Titz, the creator of the popular Your Baby Can Read videos has recently announced his next big product. Following the success of Your Baby Can Read, he decided to take early education a step further and developed a new video set titled, Your Fetus Can Read.

“Although the majority of child development experts disagree with me because I have no formal education in the field of child development and my degree is in Human Performance, I’m still a Doctor. So therefore I’m correct. A fetus can read.”

Dr. Titz says that current studies, that he can’t provide proof of existence for, show that a fetus can learn to read as early as 3 months after conception. He helped create a procedure that would implant a tiny viewing screen in the womb, and allow a fetus to see the videos, even before their eyes are fully developed.

Your Baby Can Read appealed to a lot of parents that wanted to force their children to learn to read before their developmental stage allowed them to do so. Your Fetus Can Read is expected to be an even bigger hit since parents will be able to put on the pressure even earlier.

Many parents have stated that they will be using Your Fetus Can Read as soon as it is available. They state that they’re excited about the aspect of sitting your child in front of a screen at an even earlier age, and freeing themselves of having to spend time with them. Here are several comments from parents that praise Your Baby Can Read and Your Fetus Can Read;

“Your Baby Can Read really helped my child out. Spending nine hundred hours staring at the TV might have destroyed his eyesight, but at least he can read. With, Your Fetus Can Read, I’ll be able to blind my future children even earlier.”

“My favorite thing about Your Baby Can Read was that it let me not have to spend as much time with my daughter. I used to have to read to her and talk to her, but now I can just sit her in front of the TV and then head out with my friends. I’ve very excited about Your Fetus Can Read, because if I get pregnant again, I can just leave the fetus at home and still be able to go out.”

“I’m so happy that I’ll be able to teach my future children to read before they’re even born. It’s very important that my kids are smarter than the other kids so I’ll seem better than the other parents.”

Dr. Titz has dismissed the notion that the reason some kids do so well in school when they learn to read at an early age is because they’re naturally smart and that is the reason they were able to learn at an early age.

“It’s obvious that those kids are smart because their parents bought my videos. I know this because I’m a doctor.”

Dr. Titz, and his swanky degree, plan on selling the new videos for around $20,000. This price will not include the cost of the implant procedure, which costs have been described as a financial rape.

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This post was written by

- who has written 16 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I'm a 27 year old veteran with a bad back and anger problems. I enjoy writing comedy material and have written episodes for the internet cartoon, "Who Cares?" and wrote and directed the majority of the comedy sketches for Milkbox Children Productions. I have learned to channel my frustration with the media and my overly sarcastic point of views into satire writing. Which turns out is the perfect outlet for an outspoken individual that wants to make people smile while they think. I am currently working on a children's book and a book about urban legends in Indiana.

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One Response to “Your Fetus Can Read… -Ish”

  1. This is really cool concept. Good job!

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