Man Ponders Extra Device Chargers, Very Existence
Tonight I ran into a problem that maybe you have experienced in our current electronic age. After plugging in the cell phone, laptop, iPad, iPod, and Garmin GPS, I seem to have an extra charger with no device attached. How…
Researchers Unlock Key to Happy Marriage: Let Wives Do Housework
Hard to believe? Then maybe you’ll believe a study which concluded that marriages where the women do all the housework while the men retreat to the parlor to smoke cigars, read the newspaper and discuss politics with other men in…
Libyan Press Conference Misquote Causes Health Concerns for Hillary Clinton
Washington DC – (SatireWorld.com) Fresh from her overseas trip to Libya to address the current political turmoil, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton laid to rest her physical ailments before a questioning international press corp in lieu of reports that she…
Fewer Trick-Or-Treaters Than 20 Years Ago, Lament Nation’s Pedophiles
INDIANAPOLIS – Ahead of this year’s Halloween, the nation’s pedophiles lamented Monday the relatively low number of children seen trick-or-treating on the streets in recent years. Recalling a time when groups of young children would freely mobilize between houses in…
Republicans Find God, Win Epic Game of Hide & Seek
Senator Chris Coons’ office has sent out a short brief detailing how the Congressman has finally found God, and put an end to a millennia-long game of hide and seek. Asked to comment about his Earth-shaking discovery, Senator Coons had…
‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’ Creates Stress For Romney Campaigners
There was great tension at the Republican Campaign Headquarters that morning as the worker bees entered their office in D.C. As with every campaign, unexpected situations come up. “’He Who Shall Not Be Named’” wants to endorse Romney.” stated Mitch…
Bargis Tryhol Presidential Election Battle Successful on 50 State Ballots
Miami, Florida- Newbie Presidential candidate Bargis Tryhol, who narrowly missed his 2008 presidential qualification window, is now on every state’s Presidential Ballot and is running as a ‘Do Your Own Thing’ candidate. Tryhol announced today that he has created his…
Bus Ad Tells Congress: Don’t Support Hamas
The Los Angeles-based Israel advocacy group Stand With Us has begun running bus advertisements in San Francisco asking the U.S. Congress not to support the Palestinian resistance group Hamas. According to spokesperson Dr. Macho Harass, the level of Congressional support…
GlossyNews Staff Shocked By Layoff Notices
In a surprising development this morning layoff notices were delivered to the 45 employees of the company who work in the print division. This was an unexpected move coming so close on the heels of the recent tenth anniversary. Locked…
Yes Virginia, We’ll Protect Your Vagina
Planned Parenthood today issued a public announcement that they were no longer taking the continued attacks on their services lying down. In a coordinated effort with several law groups, a new service being offered is to legally incorporate your uterus….