Yes Virginia, We’ll Protect Your Vagina

Planned Parenthood today issued a public announcement that they were no longer taking the continued attacks on their services lying down.

In a coordinated effort with several law groups, a new service being offered is to legally incorporate your uterus.

A well thought out plan that will effectively take the female reproductive organs from a personally owned depository for fetuses into a level on par with major corporations. Once the filing has been completed the female will then no longer need to fight against right wing interests for control over what her choices are.

Right: Pills of pleasure? Depends on how you vote doesn’t it! (Click to Enlarge)

Though this strategy sounds a little bizarre on first read, after having the rationale explained to us by the president of Planned Parenthood, Cecile Richards, it quickly becomes clear how cleverly crafted and well thought out it actually is.

“In the past few years there have been continued attacks on the reproductive rights of the women who we provide services,” stated Cecile. “We have faced cuts in funding from every angle imaginable and our level of frustration with those of the opposite anatomy was starting to overcome us.”

“By taking a few minutes to complete an additional form when a person registers at one of our offices, they can effectively declare their inner body as a corporation.” continued Cecile. “We know from past experience that the current republican party initiatives go after women’s rights, but they have no backbone for regulating corporations no matter what they do.”

With a smile slowly growing across her lips Cecile added, “We’ll screw them before they can ever get us to agree to let them screw us.”

Author: Mike Kelly

I like finding the humor in politics. Sometimes what you hear isn't that far from the bizarre.

5 thoughts on “Yes Virginia, We’ll Protect Your Vagina

  1. Mike, I think Scott might be really, really confused today and perhaps it’s the excitement of seeing the word ‘vagina’ in print and in public that has him rattled. Whatever you do, please don’t write a story about Woodcocks!

  2. “Go black or go back?” Really? That’s your intelligent counter to the racist, sexist, homophobic right?

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