Study: Men Will Say Anything for Sex Opportunity (comic)
If you’ve ever tasted alcohol, you know what it’s like to crave a sub-desirable person of the opposite sex, and if you’ve ever gotten to know them well enough, you know what it is to lie about who you are,…
Scandal: Obama Admits Pansexual Affair
WASHINGTON – Tears and beers were the currency in the West Wing as news broke that President Barack Obama confessed to a “torrid and greasy” pansexual affair. Obama could scarcely hold back the tears as he recounted to the press…
Study Finds Lasers Effective for Hair Removal
Home waxing kits can be a great option for anyone who wants to keep skin fuzz-free without dropping big bucks at a salon for waxing or laser hair removal every few weeks. Unfortunately, without the right products, waxing at home can also get a little messy….
“Snowden still working for us” says CIA
Reliable sources in the ICU section of the CIA confirmed to this reporter that whistle-blower Edward Snowden is “still working for us” and “doing a great job.” My puzzlement elicited further explanation. “We have more than a million people involved…
Shopping Conundrum: Sub-Featherweight Micro SD Card or 11+lbs of CF Cards?
The first time I bought memory was on the eve of my first trip to China in January of 2001. I’d never been to Asia and figured, “hey, Shanghai is a place I’ve heard of, so off I went. My…
Hallucinogen Study Halted While Researcher Talked Out of Large Bird’s Nest
A study on the use of hallucinogens in medicine has been put on hold as authorities attempt to talk 24 year-old Chicago University researcher Vern Shelby out of a 13-foot bird’s nest. The story is still developing, but it is…
What Happens if You Don’t Worship Your Dog (comic)
Ever come home from what you thought was a normal day only to find your home utterly destroyed by the very beast you’d thought was supposed to be your best friend? Well either you lent your couch to a tweaker…
State of Indiana Calls In Sick
INDIANAPOLIS – Insisting that it must have caught one of those overnight things that is going around, the entire state of Indiana called off work Monday, significantly affecting production across the Hoosier state. Even though the state’s population didn’t sound…
Surely There’s Some Value in a Tranny Club (comic)
I mean, I’m not sure there is, but when I went to New Orleans, my very own mother invited me to join her in a tranny club. Yes, a Chicks-with-Dicks club… I respectfully declined. It’s not that I’m not into…
Pittsburgh Pirates On Record Pace to Reach 53-Win Limit
PITTSBURGH — The Pittsburgh Pirates are out to their best start yet, already having secured 51 of their 53 maximum allowable wins at just the halfway point of the MLB season. To put it into perspective with regard to the…