Search Results for: bloomberg
Koch Bros. Top $100 Billion, Dead Pharaohs Impressed
Charles and David Koch, best known for the purest grades of frack-water you drink and the mercury you breathe, have reportedly topped the $100 billion mark in net worth. Let’s break down how much money that really is. Clearly it’s…
GOP Right, We Do Need to Slash Military, Raise Taxes
As the Republican shutdown enters its 11th day, the GOP has failed to waiver from their insincere talking points about fiscal responsibility. But they’re right. We have to cut the deficit and reduce the debt, and the best way to…
Kim Jong Un Can Fix North Korea, And Here’s How
Since the death of his father, Kim Jong Il, Kim the third has struggled to establish what kind of leader he is. If he’s smart, or even just sagely selfish, he’ll open the country and become the richest man on…
Romney Admits He Doesn’t Care About YOU
Mitt Romney was caught on a secret recording making shocking statements that are already legendary. That he doesn’t care about the 141 million people that don’t pay federal income tax. These people still pay taxes on the whole, many of…
Egyptian Government Plans New Pyramid Construction to Ease Vast Unemployment Problem
Cairo, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com) Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to aleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 2,000 BC. The Egyptian Department of Slave Labor sources…
Goldman Sachs to Make Money from Young Convicts
Goldman Sachs, the Wall Street investment firm that profited heavily from the world-wide collapse in subprime mortgage bonds, has announced that it will participate in a bold new experiment to apply the principles of greed and the profit motive to…
Brutal, Merciless Shooting Thankfully Not Linked to Terrorism
NEW YORK, NY – A brutal shooting that recently left 2 people dead and several wounded outside the Empire State Building is not believed to be linked to terrorism, say relieved news sources. Even though 11 people were wounded after…
Is GlossyNews Editor Brian K. White Secretly a Moderate?
An ultra-conservative friend of mine recently wrote to me saying that he’s read my stories, but secretly suspects that I might not be as left-leaning as I come across in some of those articles. To him, I said “you’re probably…
Times Square Bomber Gets Plea Deal – Turned in 6 Smokers
NEW YORK, New York (GlossyNews) — Department of Homeland Security officials admitted today at an early morning press conference that Faisal Shahzad, 30, the alleged “Times Square Bomber,” was released on bond at the behest of New York City leaders…
The Helen Thomas ‘Chair of Journalism’ Award
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Who’ll be chosen to fill Helen Thomas’s front row seat in the White House briefing room? With serious, big-time lobbying in full-out high dudgeon between Fox and Bloomberg, something has to give soon. It seems to…