Category: World News
Facebroker Replaces Facebook in Somalia
MOGADISHU, Somalia – High seas pirates tired of battling high seas and all those US and French Naval ships have decided to become landlubbers again and do what their fellow continental Nigerians are doing, scamming people from solid ground. They’ve…
WikiLeaks Revelation: Iranian President “Some Kind of F’d Up Elf”
Sydney, Australia (BNSE): Wikileaks, the controversial Australian based organization which recently rocked the American intelligence community with the release of thousands of classified documents linked to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, has sent shock waves again with the release…
High School Senior 2 Gay 2 B Remembered
Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez. Sex is a private matter, except for performance artists employed in the adult entertainment sector, who are generally really nice people. Except for Diane; she was a real bitch. Oh,…
Wealthiest Americans Expected to Seek Asylum with Lakota Nation
Three years ago a delegation of four Oglala Sioux Tribe members took their Declaration of Sovereignty to Washington, D.C. declaring themselves a separate nation. While the declaration has not been formally accepted by the United States State Department, the newly…
Jihadists Taking Pre-Marital Classes to Prep for 70-Virgin Afterlife
The newest Jihadists have been instructed in a rare, word-of-mouth Al Qaeda fatwa to begin learning the most important teaching of their future suicidehood — that of preparing themselves for their final reward, the 70 black-eyed virgins. So-called “fighters” are…
Tibet’s Dalai Lama Takes Credit for Recent Chinese Earthquake
Lhasa, Tibet – Glossy News – The Dalai Lama has spoken up and taken credit for the recent earthquake that hit China. Citing recent ‘bad karma’ over the suppression of Tibet’s population, the Dalai Lama said he would pray for…
Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems
Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling…
Obama Gets Tough with Iran: Leaves Bitchy Note on UN Desk
Washington, DC (GlossyNews): In its toughest rhetoric yet, the Obama Administration lashed out at Iran’s ongoing nuclear enrichment program. Iran maintains the program is only intended to develop a domestic nuclear fuel source for civilian electrical power generation, an explanation…
New Leak Linked to BP
ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) — In his harshest stance yet, President Barack Obama has demanded flailing petroleum giant BP establish yet another $20B set-aside to address more leak damage. At issue is the recent Wiki-leaks release of 91,000 classified documents,…
France Protects Muslim Women’s Rights by Denying them Choice
The French National Assembly has voted overwhelmingly to ban burqas, with 335 in favor of the law and only one against it. This decision is in line with the international consensus that instead of what they do, what they say,…