MOGADISHU, Somalia – High seas pirates tired of battling high seas and all those US and French Naval ships have decided to become landlubbers again and do what their fellow continental Nigerians are doing, scamming people from solid ground.
They’ve opened a new operation entitled Facebroker whereby they steal the identities of people on Facebook and sell them to people who don’t have identities on Facebook so that they can be identified on Facebook as someone other than themselves.
Sound confusing? Well of course it is. The whole program was laid out for them by the Nigerians who are infamous for writing such wonderfully clever scam letters including this ‘gem’: “I am trapped with large quantity of diamond and some million of United States dollars that is in cash with my Wife who dose not have the know-how to launder this money without any trace to our name and how to dispose these unpolished diamonds accordingly.”
So far, some names pretty high up on the social register have been Facebrokered by Somalians which has led to some countries, most notably, Iran, to not allowing their countrymen to own Facebook pages. Desperate Iranians are buying the Somalian Facebroker spiel hook, line and sinker, but not in a marine sense, in a landlubbering sense now.
Here is one Facebrokered page you may recognize. Ma Hamoudi A Madman in Jail, is none other than the Facebrokered page of the President of Iran re-gifted to some pimply teenager in Tehran who picked up a secondhand Dell laptop from his cousin from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. This could explain some of the strange goings on coming out of the Iranian Parliament Chambers these past few months.
At any rate, the Somalians are just now getting their operations up and running overseas and it will be any day now that you may be able to swap your identity for someone like say Perez Hilton, who actually may have been the inspiration behind the Somalian venture for taking the name of someone famous like Paris Hilton and changing it just enough to make it slightly different and unrecognizable.
You see, that is the genius behind Facebrokering.