Category: Top Stories
Society Attains The Ideal Black Man — But Still Wants to Lynch Him.
For decades white men have been awaiting the evolution of the Black man. Usually stereotyped (by Whites) into such roles as ‘step-and-fetch-it’, submissive post-civil war Negro, or the violent, drug dealing Super Fly. We’ve been treated to the jive talking…
Obama Sends Sarah Palin on Secret Mission
President Obama has promised to grant Sarah Palin her biggest wish ever-an inkling of credibility- if she can locate the most wanted man in the world, Osama bin Laden, and bring back his walking cane. The “secret” mission dubbed by Democrats as the “Bimbo in Limbo” is a way to show that President Obama is willing to work with Palin, while allowing her to do something productive besides running her mouth, although she plans to feed her fans inflammatory statements via Twitter during the entire process.
Ronald Reagan Inc to Run for President
REAGAN LIBRARY, SIMI VALLEY, CA (GlossyNews) — The Ronald Reagan Centennial Committee is planning a two-year presidential candidate run up to the 2012 elections. The RRPF, Inc. (Ronald Reagan Presidential Foundation) is a corporation in the most recent 2010 Supreme…
New Old Age Replacing New Age as New Age-Old Age
Kuala Lumpur (GlossyNews) — In the blink of an eye, the New Age will be over, and the New Old Age will take over. Sources close to the divine greatness himself known only as a whisper have confirmed that before…
Census Bureau Sued for Unfair Labor Practices.
Washington, DC (GlossyNews) — Hundreds of current and former 2010 Census workers filed a class action law suit today in Federal District Court charging the United States Census Bureau with a pattern of unfair labor practices against its employees. Specific…
Islamic Extremists Issue Fatwa Against American Poodle
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (GlossyNews) — Incensed Islamic extremists issued a fatwa early this evening against an American Muslim poodle named Crystal accused of breeding with an infidel St. Bernard named Herb. “Crystal has been seeing Herb at a local dog…
CIA Caught Spying on Afghan Rug – Part I of I
As related to Glossy News by a well informed cabbie in New York City. Former CIA operative turned whistleblower, Frank Turner, shocked the nation this past Friday recounting his recent hardships in front of a live television audience. Turner, who…
Hitler Found Living in Mexico with Conjoined Jewish Twins
MEXICO CITY, Mexico (GlossyNews) — Shocking reports out of Mexico City suggest that Adolf Hitler is alive and has been cohabitating with conjoined Jewish twins Golda and Miriam Slotski since 1962. “I saw him. I swear I did. I couldn’t…
Jesus Added to ‘No Fly’ list
Cairo, Illinois (GlossyNews) TSA director Laurie Partridge faced harsh questions this week in her appearance before the House sub-Committee for Members We don’t know What to do With. Ms. Partridge explained to the allegedly powerful HCMWW, the Savior of the…
Pelosi’s Secret Agenda Revealed
“…We will go through the gate. If the gate is closed, we will go over the fence. If the fence is too high, we will pole vault in. If that doesn’t work, we will parachute in.” – Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House