Category: Top Stories
Ex-nazi on Trial Regrets He Didn’t Do Enough
Former Ukranian concentration camp guard John Demjanjuk’s trial began today for the murders committed when he served as a Nazi camp guard in German occupied Russia. Earning the title ‘Ivan the Terrible’ for his frequent use of torture, indiscriminate terror…
LiberTea Federalist Activists Launch the “Its All About Me” Party
A new political entity has formed that intends on usurping the most adamant followers of all other parties into its fold. It is called the “Its All About Me Party” and has astonishingly employed the core instincts and philosophies of…
Comedy Central Pseudo News Anchor and Pundit Confirm DC Rally
On September 16th, Jon Stewart officially announced the Million Moderate March, a “Rally to Restore Sanity”. The event will coincide with Stephen Colbert’s “Stephen Colbert – March to Keep Fear Alive!” rally. This means the passionate, coordinated campaigns of Reddit…
Ahmadinejad: ‘Concentration Camps Merely Weight Loss Centers For Rich Jews’
Tehran, Iran Iran’s president offered his candid remarks in a televised address to Iran’s Righteous Council that he was proud to stoke international outrage with his latest remarks denying the Holocaust ever existed, and was mostly a fabricated lie. The…
Everyone in Office Takes Vacation Day on Gay Guy’s Birthday
When Morey Leonard arrived at work today, riding high because for once during the year everyone in the office will be nice to him, he found nearly everyone had taken the day off. This seemed strange because just a few…
Obama’s Corndog Fiasco Equals Woe for Midwest Democrats
Hogs Butte, IA (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a giant miscue that could cost Democrats even more Congressional seats this November, President Obama revealed he is “no big fan” of corn dogs, a favored…
Faulty Air Valve Causes Pelosi’s Head to Deflate During Televised Address
It was a sight so disturbing that parents covered children’s eyes as they, themselves, gasped at the horrifying images being played on TV screens across America. It too horrified other members of Congress so severely, that Capitol Police were called…
Jihadists Taking Pre-Marital Classes to Prep for 70-Virgin Afterlife
The newest Jihadists have been instructed in a rare, word-of-mouth Al Qaeda fatwa to begin learning the most important teaching of their future suicidehood — that of preparing themselves for their final reward, the 70 black-eyed virgins. So-called “fighters” are…
Steele Sends Nancy Pelosi to the Back of the Bus
WASHINGTON DC (GlossyNews) — Chairman Steele invited Republicans to “Get on the Bus” on Friday. The RNC Chairman Michael Steele has, with his Fire Nancy Pelosi Bus Tour, removed the House Speaker from under the bus to sitting inside his…
Pelosi Debunks “Free Healthcare for Pets” by Affirming It
Botox Village, CA (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Speaking to a group of her firmest supporters, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi vowed Democrats will introduce sweeping legislation guaranteeing free health care for all pets. While this…