Category: Top Stories
Obama Suffers Criticism After Bowing to the Burger King
President Barack Obama found himself in a predicament after TV cameras caught him paying homage by bowing to, of all people….the Burger King mascot! (Image courtesy of the ever-clever Glenn McCoy.) After several on-camera bows to the Emperor of Japan,…
GOP Announces “No Millionaire Left Behind” Tax Reform
PARK PLACE HOTEL, NY (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In the latest Congressional wrangling over tax policy, Republicans proposed sweeping new reforms, dubbed “No Millionaire Left Behind,” that would permanently slash taxes for the wealthiest…
Joe Biden Claims He Invented “The Intercourse”
At a recent dinner event, Vice President Joe Biden not only gave away classified secrets to the press, but claimed he’s taking credit for inventing intercourse along with Al Gore! According to a Biden Spokesman, ” Intercourse pretty much goes…
Seattle Rally to Restore Sanity Needs Donation of Sign-Making Materials
We’re having our second sign-making party, and we need materials to make the signs. The Seattle Rally is established as a 501c3 non-profit, so your donations are more than welcome (and desperately needed,) and it looks like they are also…
Facebroker Replaces Facebook in Somalia
MOGADISHU, Somalia – High seas pirates tired of battling high seas and all those US and French Naval ships have decided to become landlubbers again and do what their fellow continental Nigerians are doing, scamming people from solid ground. They’ve…
Obama Expresses Concerns Over CERN Collider Making Black Ho’s
Science, especially sub-particle acceleration, is not one of President Obama’s strong points, and coupled with a familiar slang term often used on inner city streets, it wasn’t long before a public speaking engagement would go wrong and embarrass the Administration….
Middle America Vast, but Moderate America Massive
Politicians and pundits in recent years have harped on the tired adage of “real America”, though the term is as uncertain as climate change. That is to say, it’s a very clear metric, but staunch conservatives are just in plain…
Politicos Recovering After Freak Grizzly Attacks
SAN FRANCISCO, CA. (GN) —Glossy News Over the past several weeks, there have been reports of a number of unknown female grizzly attacks. These reports are from Utah, Washington, California, Delaware, Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio, Georgia, New Hampshire, West Virginia and…
Labor Dept’s Latest Report Shows Stimulus Created a Job
Hope Springs, Maryland (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a triumphant moment for President Obama, the Labor Department’s newest monthly report showed that despite lingering high unemployment, the President’s stimulus program almost certainly created a…
Defeating the Enthusiasm Gap, Absentee-Style
The buzz word this election cycle is voter apathy, and the GOP is banking on it heavier than the “Viagra for child molesters” myth. In absence of tangible ideas (like what programs they’d actually cut,) it seems the only thing…