Category: Top Stories
‘Do Over’ Planned As Britain Finally Challenges Revolutionary War Outcome
Citing dissatisfaction over the outcome of the Revolutionary War, the British Crown has decided that a ‘do-over’ would be in best interests of both countries. In order to spark a bit of controversy, her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has arranged…
Republicans Earn Oscar Nod for ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization’
The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts & Sciences Committee has nominated the Republican Party for a special judges Oscar this year, ‘Best Act Put On By A Political Organization.’ Mrs. Tallulah Bankaccount, head of the board overseeing nominations, stated “The…
Kamikaze Ninja Jihadist Taliban Squirrel Brings Down University
World News -Fairbanks, AK GlossyNews.com – An Al Queda influenced jihadist squirrel attempted to create maximum havoc at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks recently. Successfully penetrating the high security at an electrical substation, the fanatical rodent managed to blow…
Tennessee’s Jackass Race Still Too Close to Call
Insiders have always watched Tennessee elections closely. The reasons for this scrutiny are varied. Partly, it’s the famous axiom ‘As Tennessee goes, so goes Kentucky usually.’ More than that though, the Volunteer state has always provided America with a cornucopia…
Recession Success of Walmart, McDonalds Proves God “Kind of a Jerk”
As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making…
Despite Strong Support, Prop 19 Fails Due to Inaction, Dude
LOS ANGELES, CA – GlossyNews.com – Supporters of Proposition 19, which would have legalized, taxed and regulated the sale and use of marijuana in California, promised more action in future elections after suffering a defeat on either Tuesday or Wednesday…
Juan Williams vs Byron Williams – A Real Snapshot of Media Bias
Lets call this the case of two Williams. It is a case study in the state of the journalism system in this country. Everyone has heard of the case of Juan Williams getting fired by NPR over some lukewarm comments…
Orange Man Boehner Delights Chinese Business Leaders, Disappoints Constituents
DAYTON, Ohio (Glossy News) –The Chinese, often characterized as “the yellow race,” have found a new friend in a man whose face color reminds them of their grandfathers when angered — orange. There is an old saying in China that…
Open Letter to Undermining, Commie-Pinko Socialists
IMPORTANT – IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF “CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA”, THEN DO NOT READ THIS… Comrades! The situation is dire! Our plans lay fast in rubble before us!…
Rupert and Roger’s (enter name here) Neo-Party
It is obvious to me –I’m probably alone here– that FauxNoiz, MySpace-Dammit and Noizcorp have decided that they want to become the next Third Party in US politics. Murdoch and Ailes have made their billions on this crapo business/political scheme…