Category: Top Stories
Wisconsin Democratic Rep Found Hiding In My Closet
I found a Wisconsin State Democratic Senator hiding in my closet. Bastard! I was coming in to see if I could find a pair of socks I hadn’t worn more than one day and, shazaam!, there he was. He looked…
GlossyNews Swallows [Pride] and Merges with Twitter
Following a precipitous plummet in readership, the once formidable political satire site Glossynews announced today that it will be merging with Twitter to create internet’s the first 140 character satire site. Glossynews found itself in trouble shortly after insisting on…
NASA Claims Solar Flare Mistaken for Distress Signal
A visibly distraught NASA Director Sharon Love spoke to reporters this week about what she called ‘that stupid thing with space aliens.’ “Look, I seriously don’t have time for this. My assignment is outreach to the Muslim world, period. When…
National Tea Party Unwittingly Aligns Itself with California Pot Growers Association
An unlikely partnership has formed between some very conservative-thinking patriots and a group of stoners who could care less about any politics unless, of course, they involve the legalization of marijuana. How it happened, no one is really certain, but…
Cheney Comes Out in Support of Mubarak
An American dictator comes out in support of a buddy dictator which is an indication that there must be a strong social network of dictators that many don’t know about. Just like Hitler being bosom buddies with Mussolini, Franco and…
Man Loses Job for Confusing ASS with ELBO
Local man Dean Davis was dismissed from his position of press officer at Drudge Corp yesterday for mixing up his company acronyms. Davis explained that in the middle of an important business meeting he congratulated a senior colleague on having…
Mid-West Unrest Erupts
Authorities have now surrendered hope that blizzard conditions would dissuade the tens of thousands now holding candle light vigils in Cleveland, Ohio. The protesters stand defiant in the face of wind chill factors that would make a polar bear cuss…
O’Reilly, Obama Find Common Ground; Glenn Beck is Nuts
President Obama sat down with Fox News Show host Bill O’Reilly in a rare and candid interview that touched on everything from the unrest in Egypt and how it should be handled, the economy and how to achieve a more…
R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Aretha Sang It, Obama Shows It
For all you can say for or against Barack Obama as President, there is one huge thing can be said in his favor. He has returned a forgotten key ingredient of crucial diplomatic etiquette to the forefront and that is…
Rahm Emanuel Admits “The Rich Pay Barely Any Taxes”
Erstwhile White house adviser Rahm Emanuel has taken his hat out of that ring, and thrown it into the one that allows him to run for Mayor of Chicago. Along the way, however, he has been forced to disclose his…