Category: Top Stories
Idiot Satirist Forgets April Fools Day
Reports are just creeping in that an idiot of a satirist, who regularly plagues internet websites with a tide of absolute nonsense in the name of humour, forgot to post any gems of wit, wisdom, or deception on April Fools…
McCain To Run For President in 2044
Burning Candles, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain will launch another bid for the White House in 2044, and is “firmly committed to running a vigorous, full-steam ahead” campaign.
Crayola Announces New “John Boehner Orange” Crayon Color
Pumpkin Place, Ohio (GlossyNews) —The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. The iconic Crayola crayon company announced it will introduce a new crayon color, “John Boehner Orange,” based on what it calls the “distinctive, even unique, hues and shades”…
London Rioters Disrupt Tea at the Ritz
Attendees at London’s plush Ritz Tearooms anticipating a quiet sojourn from the hustle and bustle of the city in order to discuss the cricket and deerstalking in the Highlands of Scotland almost choked on their crumpets as the Ritz was…
UK Austerity Hits Royal Wedding Plans in the Face
You might think the perfect proposal needs to involve a huge romantic gesture in a public place, but that’s just not true. Here’s what you need to consider, and how to plan the perfect marriage proposal for the love of…
Subsidi-Farm Ramps up Medical Marijuana Production to Fund Libyan War
Cultivation of the US Government’s own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are running…
Labor Unrest Hits Candy Tycoon in the Sweet Spot
Shares of Wonka Foods International, the silent parent company of both Hershey and Nestle, opened sharply lower today as disturbing news reached Wall Street. It appears anti-collective bargaining legislation recently introduced in Wisconsin has spawned a backlash that now threatens…
AT&T / T-Mobile Merger Already Faces Grassroots Opposition
With the recent announcement that despised telecom giant AT&T would be purchasing T-Mobile for $39 billion came the launch of a grassroots opposition movement dead-set against the transaction. If you have an opinion about the merger, this may be of…
Al Qaeda Confirms Bin Laden Dead; Organizational Changes
CAIRO — Al Qaeda issued this statement to Internet militant websites: “We regret to announce that our Premier Leader, Usama bin Laden was killed Monday in plain sight at his home in the city of Abbottabad, Pakistan.
Global Gasoline and Poster Board Prices Rise Sharply
New York, NY, GlossyNews.com– Speculation and tensions are rising on Wall Street as political unrest in the Middle East is not only causing gasoline prices to skyrocket, but poster board prices are at an all-time high as well. Although in…