McCain To Run For President in 2044

Burning Candles, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle.

Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain will launch another bid for the White House in 2044, and is “firmly committed to running a vigorous, full-steam ahead” campaign.

After careful study and extensive polling, McCain strategists concluded that “waiting a few more election cycles” offers the best opportunity to present McCain to voters as a “newer, fresher candidate.”

“We see no reason to jump in immediately,” said a senior McCain campaign manager. “There’s plenty of time to do this right.”

Political analysts were divided over the move, with a top Republican pollster hailing it as “brilliant long-term thinking” but other Washington insiders expressing skepticism.

“It’s almost certain that none of the country’s problems will be solved by 2044,” the GOP pollster noted, “so McCain’s timing seems perfect.”

“There’s an obvious flaw in their thinking and that’s fund raising,” countered one political analyst. “With even moderate rates of inflation, you’re talking about having to raise enormous sums of money by then.”

Sources close to the campaign also confirmed that current presidential hopeful Sarah Palin would likely be McCain’s Vice Presidential pick again. “We think if she continues to study foreign policy, she could be ready by 2044,” said the campaign source.

Palin was unavailable for comment due to a hunting trip with former Vice President Dick Cheney.

Author: norbert b. snortwhistle

Norbert Bibbington Snortwhistle is not the author’s real name. A freelance writer living in a California beach town, Mr. Snortwhistle writes about business, politics and other strange affairs. You can read his articles on investing and the economy, posted under the name ‘Low Sweat Investing,’ here.