Reports are just creeping in that an idiot of a satirist, who regularly plagues internet websites with a tide of absolute nonsense in the name of humour, forgot to post any gems of wit, wisdom, or deception on April Fools Day.
The idiotic satirist, who can’t be named here for illegal reasons, admitted that April Fools Day had completely slipped his vacant mind.
It transpires that the so-called satirist was so busy updating his blog (on which he has five undevoted followers) with a nonsensical reminiscence regarding his honeymoon in Rome, that April Fools Day slipped right by him.
Where – in Rome on his honeymoon – the only thing to raise a smile upon his blushing bride’s countenance were the unsolicited attentions of an Italian waiter in a bar in Piazza Navona and a young gypsy boy at the taxi rank in Piazza Del Poppolo. Which is all very nice, but hardly Fools Day material.
“I can’t get my head round this,” the unnamed satirist choked as he went to get another beer from the fridge. “April Fools Day is a satirist’s dream, and I missed it! Damn – I had all kinds of stories lined up about free food all day at McDonalds and Burger King, free coffee at Starbucks, pasta plants in Italy, flying penguins, tree dwelling ostriches, carnivorous gerbils, Oprah’s bio-degradable lingerie range and Charlie Sheen’s new ‘How To Totally Fuck Up In Hollywood’ self help book. It looks like I missed the boat…ah well…there’s always next year.”
“What an idiot!” the wife of the idiot, Mrs Skoob opined. “You just can’t tell him anything. Thinks he knows it all, he does. Truth is he’s got the common sense of a slug, and the brains of a mayfly. I must be as bad for marrying the silly sod in the first place.”
More as we don’t get it.