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Layoffs Rampant, Fired Employee Knows Solution (Comic)

Layoffs Rampant, Fired Employee Knows Solution (Comic)

We’ve all worked in this kind of office. You know the solution is so simple it’s right in your face, but you’d be crazy to come right out and say it… well, this guy did.

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5-economic-stimulus1

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Posted in Biz News, Comics0 Comments

Guy In Starbucks Pretty Sure Job Interview Happening on Next Table

Guy In Starbucks Pretty Sure Job Interview Happening on Next Table

INDIANAPOLIS – Enjoying an orange mango smoothie at a Starbucks in downtown Indianapolis Thursday, local man Zach Needham was fairly certain that some sort of job interview – probably for a really high-end position – was taking place at the next table.

Just catching up on some emails built up over the past two days, the 32-year-old web designer couldn’t help but overhear the authoritative-sounding guy immediately to his right ask the woman sitting opposite him “what sort of experience do you have with Excel 2010?” Continue Reading

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Corporation Now Firing

Corporation Now Firing

INDIANAPOLIS – The city’s employment figures were tweaked Friday, as Corporate Technology Services (CTS) – an established call center corporation on the westside of Indianapolis – revealed that it is now firing.

Expected to begin the firing process in earnest on Monday, the company is looking to increase joblessness by upward of 10%. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News2 Comments

Cypriots Taxed On Their Savings- How To Really Screw Your Fellow Countrymen

Cypriots Taxed On Their Savings- How To Really Screw Your Fellow Countrymen

Now it is the island nation of Cyprus’s time to come under the guillotine of economic bankruptcy.

The only difference with their bankers way of dealing with it is that, instead of doing it in the U.S. fashion of taking the needed money from what the government holds in taxpayer money the Cypriot financial wizards are simply charging a tax directly to people who have accounts in their banks that are failing. Continue Reading

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NRA Takes Battle to New Level; Buys Death Star

NRA Takes Battle to New Level; Buys Death Star

The NRA has upped its political game with the acquisition of the Death Star made famous from the Star Wars movie franchise.

Thought to have been totally destroyed following a second massive attack by impudent rebel forces in the third (or is that the sixth?) installment of the series (I always get them confused and so do most normal people (nerds not included in the idea of ‘normal’)) the killer man made planet has apparently been repaired by laid off Lucasfilm engineers able to hobble it back together again. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Crime0 Comments

Monsanto seeks patent on child

Monsanto seeks patent on child

Biotechnology giant Monsanto Corporation announced today that it is seeking a patent on one of its research employee’s children. “If the patent is granted,” said Monsanto attorney Seth “Kendall” Waxman”, “this organism cannot be used for further reproduction without Monsanto permission – usually in return for a royalty fee negotiated with the customer. In fact, we’re currently pursuing a Supreme Court case against a farmer, Vernon Hugh Bowman, who used our patented soybeans to produce his own seed. The patent application for the child is part of our effort to broaden our product range to other organisms.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News4 Comments

Road to Success Closed for Construction

Road to Success Closed for Construction

Due to further initiatives from the office of Mayor Ballard, the road to success – an interstate linking life’s frustrating years with one’s potentially comfortable adult years – has closed to make way for more construction.

The road, which is used by thousands of ambitious commuters each day, is set to undergo “major repairs” over the next eighteen months, with plans to use the Road to Nowhere as a detour. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Human Interest1 Comment

SodaStream’s Commitment to Green Love and Freedom

SodaStream’s Commitment to Green Love and Freedom

SodaStream CEO Daniel Burnbomb has taken his company from a modest novelty manufacturer to an international sensation that is selling millions of home carbonation machines world wide and will have a half million-dollar advert during the most watched event in the U.S., the American football Super Bowl championship. I interviewed Burnbomb at his factory in an Israeli settlement in the Palestinian West Bank to learn more about the company’s success story.

RIGHT: “If you love the bubbles, set them free.” (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News5 Comments

We Need More Debt, Please

We Need More Debt, Please

My cousin Penin Diaz, a used car salesman, claims to have found the solution to stimulating the economy, ending the home foreclosure crisis and reducing unemployment (or at least the loss of income due to unemployment). I unfortunately owe him a favor for marrying my sister, so I agreed to publish the following interview with him:

RIGHT: Penin Diaz has a plan to end the recession. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Continue Reading

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Report: Someone, Somewhere Actually Pursuing Career In Dental Hygiene

Report: Someone, Somewhere Actually Pursuing Career In Dental Hygiene

INDIANAPOLIS – A report released Friday has found that someone, somewhere is actively taking steps to realize a lifelong dream of becoming a dental hygienist.

Even though the position would require a wide level of seemingly demeaning duties, such as cleaning people’s gums and treating others for gingivitis, the report found that an individual – possibly more than one – is presently enrolling in a 2-year associates degree program at a dental hygienist school, with the intention of actually turning it into a career. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Education1 Comment

“Gun Bubble Imminent” Claims Financial Wizard

“Gun Bubble Imminent” Claims Financial Wizard

E. Edmund Worthington, a foremost prognosticator in the world of weapons pricing, is warning potential gun buyers to save their cash and quit buying guns.

“The prices are way too high now folks,” said Worthington in a voice resembling a concerned father, as he began talking about the crazy run on guns taking place all over America.

“Even if you have a gun permit or are sane enough to apply for one, it’s just too much of a financial risk,” he warned his rapt audience at the annual American Armament and Bankers Conference in Roanoke, Virginia. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Crime2 Comments

Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

Answer to Gun Control Problem; Americans Now Buying Chinese Guns

Out of the most unseemly of circumstances a solution has come to solve the problems of American gun control, the overbearing political adventures of the NRA and the high cost of ammunition and firearms in America.

Red China has introduced a whole line of guns aimed (in the non-shooting sense of the word) at the American gun consumer. The arms available, all pretty much cheap copies of already existing models, range from Derringer replicates to the ever beloved assault rifles and machine guns. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Society2 Comments

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