Category: Sports Events
Rio 2016 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries
The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which other nations have links simply do not exist. Two hundred and seven countries were represented at the opening ceremony of Rio 2016,…
Chicago Cubs Lose, Cosmos Safe
In historic fashion, the curse of the Billy Goat again reared its ugly head on those Lovable Losers, the Chicago Cubs. Game four of the National League Championship Series ended with the New York Mets beating the Cubbies by the…
Brains Donate NFL Players to Science
Chicago, Illinois – As the 2015 NFL draft is set to begin tonight at 8pm (est), the scientific community added to the excitement with a groundbreaking announcement last night that the brains of current and former NFL players, Michael Vick…
Katy Perry Spent a Lot Of Time Contemplating Her Super Bowl Act
“Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time?…
Fan Donations to the NFL on the Rise
NEW YORK – Many American football fans may not realize that the National Football League (NFL) is not a corporation, but a tax-exempt organization. Recently some real die-hard fans have been donating money to their beloved NFL, even though their…
Northeastern Idaho State Makes College Football Playoff
While most of the debate about the College Football Playoff has surrounded Ohio State, Baylor, and TCU, a surprise team sneaked into the playoff late on Monday night. Northeastern Idaho State (formerly Northern Idaho Agricultural College) was selected by the…
Marathon Winner Interrogated over Questions about his “Bread & Butter”
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – Officials overseeing the 31st Annual Bread N’ Basket Marathon held in downtown Philadelphia had several routine questions for this year’s winner, Breddie Murphy, after the 24-year-old won the race in a record time of 3 baskets and…
Tony Stewart Kills Fellow Driver, Boosting NASCAR Ratings
Saturday night NASCAR icon Tony Stewart single-handedly quadrupled NASCAR’s slumping television ratings when he hit and killed Kevin Ward Jr in a Sprint Car race at Canandaigua Motorsports Park in upstate New York. Ward, 20, had been run into the…
An American’s Comment On All The Balderdash Surrounding Soccer’s World Cup In Brazil.
It is time to take the opportunity to take you folks in the rest of the world (besides the good old USA) and England especially to task for the formation and promoting since the 16th century this thing you call…
Billions Happy During World Cup
RIO DE JANEIRO – Billions of football fans across the world are incredibly happy about the month-long distraction from serious news during the World Cup tournament. “The fact that Russia might start invading Ukraine any minute now is simply not…