Category: Sports
Dennis Rodman Fails to Arrive at Kim Jong Un Palace
Pyongyang, N. Korea – Dennis Rodman reportedly sent a look-alike imposter in his place to supreme leader, Kim Jong Un’s palace Thursday. The leader of N. Korea is said to be hopping mad and may be readying the execution squad…
Dennis Rodman Missing After Jang Song Thaek’s Execution
Although the mainstream media is reporting that Dennis Rodman is still planning on traveling to North Korea next week to begin training North Korea’s basketball team, no one close to Rodman has seen him since the execution of Kim Jong…
Thanksgiving Holiday Raises Age-Old Family Question: What is Football?
Aunt Marjorie is still at the table, Uncle Dave is in the den screaming about God knows what, and all the kids are jacked up on pumpkin pie. Yes, it’s football/Thanksgiving season once again. But what is football? Some Americans…
NFL Attempts to Curb Concussions By Mounting 11-Inch Steel Spike to Front of Every Helmet
NEW YORK — In an effort to cut down on the growing number of concussions suffered by players, the National Football League has announced plans to adopt a new, official helmet design that will feature an 11-inch steel spike mounted…
The Changes to European Club Rugby – Americans Indifferent
There are massive changes afoot in the world of Rugby Union. While there has been some agreement recently as to the future of the sport, there are still many obstacles to overcome. Following an 18-month impasse, the six unions involved…
Glossy Staff Admits Butt-Hurt After Reaming by NRA Riled Redneck Brigade
The staff of Glossy news is busy licking their wounds today after a fierce word-lashing by a number of drive-by commentator fan(atic)s of the NRA. While a few commenters stand out in the article, the sum of their words was…
Washington Redskins Change Name to Less-Offensive “Virginia-Adjacent Redskins”
WASHINGTON — In response to a recent outcry surrounding the Washington Redskins’ controversial name, which critics argue is highly inappropriate in this day and age, Owner Daniel Snyder has announced that he will change the name to the less-offensive “Virginia-Adjacent…
NFL Footballers Sue Their Sugar Daddy For Head Injuries – Woosies, Wimps
Former professional football players have just announced that they are seeking millions of dollars in damages due to injuries that have resulted from head concussions that have occurred from playing the game. The NFL stands to pay out 765 MILLION…
The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers
Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but…
Soccer Quickly Becoming America’s Like 4th or 5th Favorite Sport
A recent poll taken by randomly selected sports fans from around the nation indicated that the game of soccer, where you try and kick a ball into a goal, is drawing near to being among some of America’s most popular…