Sitting down at the park looking at a kid strangely on a leash held by his Mum, I’m enjoying a sunny day after working at a music festival. Nothing cool, like I’m a guy in a band smashing groupies who still won’t take his sunglasses off! Instead, I was helping set up the event like marquees and furniture; so for a bigger picture, imagine your typical construction worker who doesn’t shower before his day begins and laughs with his bogan coworkers who are missing half their teeth and howl at any size and shape of female.
The kid on the leash, well he also makes me think twice about smoking a two-papered joint my friend rolled for me earlier. And I wonder, if he’s going to grow up with severe problems, would he keep his future wife in a box if he has an argument with her? Or turn a construction company into keeping chains on their workers to ensure complete authority; which quite possibly means I’m about to be someone’s bloody slave!
Looking at him I’m laughing harder than I could’ve thought of before smoking. The kid in his deep blue striped sweater is playing with dogs who are on leashes as well… Are they also going to sniff each other’s assholes?
While I wonder about these disastrous thoughts and decide kid’s on leashes is plain cruel and not good at all, I see a woman clearly walking around the odd kid that hopefully doesn’t have some kind of dog fetish. The woman chills down next to me.
”About fucking time I sat down!’ she says letting out a deep breath, while I glance my eyes on her ocean blue eyes, beachy blonde hair, not to mention her hazel coloured singlet that’s loose enough to let you know she’s not wearing her bra; and she’s looking right at me, I can tell she’s expecting some sort of conversation.
”The weather is great!” I say pausing for my joke. ”What most boring people usually say, but today it really is.” Failing in this joke, I watch her bluntly light a cigarette, wondering how many she smokes a day. ”How you been love?” she says in her croaky voice, looking at my eyes. She’s probably in her mid 40s. ”Pretty good, just watching this kid on his leash waiting for him to roll over or run after some poor cat,” and she finally chuckles at a joke of mine, I notice an old bunny tattoo on her right shoulder. ”It’s a good idea, kids on leashes,” she says, watching my shocked eyes she chuckles some more. ”I’d do it if my daughter wouldn’t fuck most boys I lay eyes on first!” she said; I can imagine she used to be very beautiful, but then her past fun with booze and drugs caught up, and perhaps keeping up and competing with younger foxes today.
”I can see your point,” I said looking at her suspicious eyes. ”So you want to fuck my daughter?” she asks testing her humour on me as we both laugh, her filthy talk slowly electrifying me downstairs. ”Didn’t say that,” I say catching a bit of breath. ”I mean I can see how parents can have better control with their kids, imagine all the busy roads near parks that kids could have accidents…” ”Or the seductive kidnappers!” she says, and I think about the infamous shopping centres. ”Bit of a gamble,” I say mindfully, ”Whether a kid will grow up becoming slightly affected or even having full mental issues. But on the other hand, serious dangers would happen a lot less, I guess…” ”Danger is what keeps you alive!” she says blowing a big puff of cigarette smoke from her ageing hands with faded purple nail polish. She seems focused on other sorts of intentions, I realise suddenly. She’s certainly lost her most beautiful days, but her filthy charm is actually a deep turn on to someone repulsive as myself; and I’d prefer nothing to bending her over the front of my old Volkswagen Golf that barely starts and needs the whole interior replaced.
Trying to finish this above… Sudden erotic urges! Kids on leashes? I believe none of us can literally know at this point whether it’s a fantastic idea or just goddamn terrible. ”I think only a psychologist 10 years from now can see if it’s affected a child,” I said and she leans her knee on my left leg carelessly rolling her neck back. ”Or if the Mother could do her job right, then she wouldn’t need a leash,” I say again to this innocent peaceful blue sky not expecting a reply from the filthy cougar, but she surprises me taking her knee off my leg. ”That’s the problem, you men completely assume it’s all the mother’s responsibility,” her body language not so sexy anymore and I believe she’d rather hit me. My chosen words were an accident and not at all trying to be sexist. ”Sorry sometimes men say dumb shit, naturally…” And I wait to see if she forgives me but give her by now intimidating eyes and defensive body language, I realise she’s not a sure thing anymore; and I’m now desperate for her. Many times men are thrown into this torturous spell!
Apologising again would not be an option, worse thing she can do is think I’m a pussy. Instead I shrug my shoulders and pull out the joint from my pocket that’s been screaming at me this whole time. The woman I can already tell softening her body and for a split second in her denim skirt, her legs open wider and through her red underwear, I catch a glimpse of her camel toe. ”Is cigarettes all you smoke?” I say in a surprising British tone and her steamy expression tell me we’re not finished.