Flu Spray Replacement Found Among City Dwelling Homeless population

For many years, the flu vaccine was administered primarily in two ways—via an injection or through a nasal spray. However, many pharmacies and doctors have steered away from the use of the flu spray, and settled almost exclusively on the use of the injection. This shift was due, in large part, to alarmed parents who voiced concerns that the act of ingesting something through the nose could lead to a higher inclination to indulge in nasally administered narcotics later in life

Ironically, these parents failed to recognize that narcotics can also be administered through injections… usually to consume drugs that are both more addicting and harmful. The concerns somehow were limited to the action of ingestion via the nasal cavity and its development into drug usage down the line. Despite there being absolutely no evidence to support these claims, officials in the medical field have still fielded their questions and concerns, and responded amicably.

Lisa Martin, a mother of two elementary students, asserted that, “There was just a small period where we were running out of stuff to complain about. If I’m not constantly questioning the status quo disguised as concern for my child’s well-being, how are people going to know that I actually care about my kids?”

While there is some validity to Martin’s argument, there is actually no validity at all to Martin’s argument. However, due to the mass quantities of concerned suburbanite mothers who are seeking validation as a parent because of how involved they are in their child’s lives, the hands of medical professionals have been forced.

For parents who are looking for a safe alternative to the injection-based vaccine, several pharmacies are providing options to accommodate this desire. Walgreen’s, CVS, and RITE-AID have all introduced new “Flu Mist” options to fill the void left by the nasal spray’s departure. The “Flu Mist” is administered by homeless men and women who “live” in the surrounding areas of select pharmacies. Parents can choose from a wide assortment of methods through which their child can receive the mist vaccination, including “Aggressive Cough to the Face ($4.99),” “Surprise Sneeze ($7.99),” and “Wet Willy ($12.99).”

This initiative to continue to administer safe flu vaccinations to children, while simultaneously putting a significant portion of the homeless population to work, has been commended by Congressmen and Congresswomen nationwide.

When asked how the homeless citizens who have offered their services to pharmacies around the country are being compensated, several CVS clerks have iterated the company policy on timely and adequate compensation. This policy states that company employees, including these homeless men and women, can receive payment via direct-deposit or have a physical check sent to their home address.



Author: MC Cammer