Category: Religionism
Cosmos Show Embroiled in Legal Controversy with Churches
Dateline: LOS ANGELES—Dozens of churches in the United States are collectively suing the producers of Cosmos, the reboot of the television show previously hosted by Carl Sagan, for “stealing the Christian shtick.” The filed complaint was obtained by the press…
Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan
Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations.
Second Horseman of The Apocalypse Holds News Conference
The Second Horseman of The Apocalypse held a rare news conference at his estate today, warning that the Apocalypse Alert level may have to be raised. The Second Horseman met with the reporters arrayed outside the gates of his secluded…
Creation Museum Sets Stupidly Low Bar w/ Non-Floating Ark
Ken Ham, while unclean in name only, continues to vie valiantly for the creation of a modern day Ark to prove once and for all that the book of Genesis was written as a literal and true historical account. But…
Satanist Claims Satanist Not A Satanist
Lucien Graves, spokesperson and Grand Goat Master for the Horned and Cloven Hoofed Tabernacle went on record yesterday claiming accused “Craigslist Dexter Killer” Miranda Morgan was just a cheap poser and a hack. Morgan was arrested Monday in the killing…
Popular Orca Handling Preacher Dies From Whale Bite
Cult orca handler and rider Pastor Jamie Coots died early Friday morning after being bitten in half by a killer whale during a non sanctioned religious service at Sea World. The ardent Pentecostal minister preached whales will not harm true believers…
Jihadist Gets The 72 Virgins That He So Richly Deserves
The Gates To Glory opened wide to accept young Jasheed as he entered the Jihadist Heaven he worked so hard to deserve. His trainers had always indoctrinated him on the wonders that would await him there were he to prove…
Pope Francis Objects to Notre Dame Stadium Overhaul
When University of Notre Dame officials announced Wednesday that they were building a $400 million extension onto its football stadium, many were initially critical of the project’s price tag. But one notable critic has come forward to oppose the project…
Weed-Smoking Potlandians Debate Whether to Legalize Nicotine, Alcohol
Dateline: CANNABISTOWN, PO—In Potlandia, marijuana is legal for recreational purposes and is commonly smoked by nearly all of the adult citizens of that country, while alcohol and nicotine are banned. But the alcohol and tobacco industries regard Potlandia’s laws…
Appearances by the Spanish Inquisition Becoming Predictable
Melville, Montana – Just last Tuesday, Todd Johansen, loan manager of the local Bank of America, came home to find his wife, Karen, sitting deliberately at the kitchen table. “He’d called my cell during lunch and said it would be…