Category: Religionism
Bible Quiz Proves Average American Knows Nothing About The Bible
A recent quiz written by our own staff has gone live in Beta, and early results are less than promising. It seems nobody knows the real facts of The Bible. There are questions from the Old Testament, the new Testament,…
Duck Dynasty Delusions & American Social Cohesion in Jeopardy, Experts warn
Dateline: WEST MONROE, LA—Phil Robertson, star of A&E’s Duck Dynasty, got into trouble with his politically incorrect comments about homosexuality being un-Christian. For financial reasons, A&E stood by Mr. Robertson, Duck Dynasty will continue filming, and conservative groups have applauded…
Meek Taking Early Inheritance of Earth and Evicting All Sinners
MUSKEGON, MI – The Meek, who are mentioned a couple of times in the Bible as the heirs to Earth*, have finally had enough of their un-meek counterparts, i.e. the Sinners, and are close to having God grant their request…
Ice Storm Victims learn Horrible True Meaning of Christmas
of Christmas. The ice storm has brought down thousands of large tree branches which knocked out power lines, causing power outages in the homes of over 200,000 Torontonians alone.
Wall Street Banks’ Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty
Dateline: NEW YORK—A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the…
Pope Francis Announces Closing of Church
The planet breathed a sigh of relief today as Pope Francis finally announced the official closing of the Catholic Church and End of All Christianity. In a largely unanticipated statement, Pope Francis once again departed from papal tradition when he…
Nativity Scene Vandalized: Baby Jesus Replaced w/ Budweiser
When Dan Fairbanks, pastor at the Village Seventh Day Adventurer Church, checked his congregation’s nativity scene Christmas Eve morning, what he found was the most disturbing image of his life. In the manger belonging to Baby Jesus, instead of Jesus,…
Warming Arctic Ocean Causes Santa To Move Operations To South Pole
Old Nick has been having a hard time of it. His North Pole sweat shops, …er…, workshops have been becoming wet-shops due to the the melting of the sea ice of the arctic. “It has just become impossible! I have…
Holidays Aside – It’s Time For Blonde Suicide Bomber Jokes
Forget the overly cheery Christmas carols, the endless gift shopping and the eye strainingly gaudy seasonal decorations. Cheery days aside, the world is falling apart. In that spirit, it is time for some truly low-brow, rude, raunchy and definitely non-Christmasy…
Millions Mourn South African Terrorist
JOHANNESBURG – With wails running free across the air, millions of grieving humans gathered in Sandton Square on Friday afternoon to mourn the passing of a great and respected national terrorist from South Africa. Participants interviewed expressed an almost uniform…