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Hotheads’ Violence caused by Hot Climates, Study finds

Hotheads’ Violence caused by Hot Climates, Study finds

Dateline: GREENLAND—A sociobiological study from Bigwig University in Ittoqqortoormiit, Greenland shows that the areas around the world with the hottest temperatures tend to be inhabited by more aggressive, bellicose peoples, or “hotheads,” as the study calls them, while colder zones are home to more peaceful, even timid populations.

The team of scientists concludes that collective belligerence is a form of literal hot-headedness in which a screaming-hot environment transfers its heat to the human head and turns the mind into a stew of animal reactions, bypassing the brain’s rational faculties and driving the population as a whole to childish displays of wonton irrationality and brutality.

The deserts of the Middle East and Africa, along with Southeast Asia, Central America, Mexico, and the southern (Republican) United States are marked by dictatorships, perennial civil wars, gang wars, coups, chaos, rampant crime, riots, bloody uprisings, bigotry or fundamentalist lunacy.

By contrast, Canada, Alaska, the northern (Democratic) United States, and Europe are known for being sober, peaceful, and stable to the point of being infamously dull.

“It’s hard to stir up trouble,” said the team’s lead researcher, Professor Francesca Bobbins, “or to get all offended and hot-headed when there’s a foot of snow outside your door or when you know the snow will come in a matter of weeks or months. I mean literally, it’s hard to heat your head enough to sustain animal rage when it’s often super-cold out.

“But just imagine living in a desert that fries and scrambles your brains. How can you stop to think when you’re always stinking and soaking wet with sweat? Haven’t you got to take your rage out on someone, like the government or a rival sect or some other scapegoat? Mustn’t the excess heat that bubbles up in the heads of those dwelling in a humid environment be vented back into the world by some series of violent outbursts to prevent those heads from exploding?”

The researchers tested their hypothesis by observing the facial expressions and by measuring the heat steaming off of the heads of subjects who agreed just to stand for hours in the streets of altogether too-hot places, including San Antonio, Mexico City, Khartoum, Riyadh, and Bangkok. Invariably, the test subjects became increasingly agitated as the sweat streamed down their faces, dampening their shirts and messing up their underwear.

Subjects reported feeling their blood boil when strangers stopped merely to say “Hello” and were unable to concentrate when the researchers posed simple problems to them to determine whether heat negatively affects cognition.

“The sociobiologist asked me, ‘What’s two times four?’ and I swear I blanked,” recalled one test subject. “Back home in Halifax, Canada, I could have answered that with no problem, but standing there in Riyadh in that dreadful heat, my fevered brain was racing from one impulse and nonsensical notion to the next, as if the desert were boiling my neurons. All I could think was: ‘Get me the fuck out of this oppressive heat!’ And failing that, ‘Whom can I take out this aggression on?’”

As one of the researchers explained, “It’s like the difference between cold and boiling water. When water is very cold it’s frozen and so it tends to stay put, going nowhere; but when it boils, it spills out and bubbles up everywhere from the transfer of energy.”

Critics point out that the experiment was conducted in large cities, which suggests that the aggression may have been caused not by the blazing heat, but by the nearby presence of way too many people, the principle being as Sartre said, that “Hell is other people.”

The researchers replied that there are large cities in peaceful nations too, such as Toronto, Canada. What turns one large population into “placid, mousey little nobodies” and another into “a horde of raging orcs and barbarians” is largely the climate, said Professor Bobbins. “For example, the infusion of Middle Eastern immigrants into France and the UK and the conflicts this has stirred up there can be interpreted thermodynamically. The immigrants’ heads store the excess heat from their native lands and disperse it in the cooler climates of Western Europe. That transfer of heat causes social chaos.”

The report has also been criticized for failing to take into account the counterexample of Australia. Australians are known for being friendly and laid back, and yet much of that continent is as hot as anywhere else on the planet.

The researchers credit this apparent discrepancy to Australia’s British heritage. Like Canada, modern Australia was colonized by the United Kingdom. The team theorized that abundant rain can function like snow in dissuading a population from wanting to go outdoors to kick up a mighty ruckus.

“The rain-soaked temperament of Brits was passed onto Australian culture, making Aussies as tranquil and bloodless as Canadians,” said Professor Bobbins.

“As for Russia,” she continued, “while it’s true that Russians have historically preferred authoritarian rulers and been as brutal as all get-out, as in their laying waste to the Nazis, it’s notable that the soviets saw their ideology as being especially rational, even scientific. The Nazis, too, looked to science to support their social Darwinian prejudices.

“Temperature is only one factor in determining a population’s passivity or aggression, not the only one,” she conceded. “But while European and North Asian forms of violence are couched in rational or pseudoscientific terms, those forms that break out in scorching-hot zones are chaotic or primitive, showing similarities to the sort of genetic tribalism we see in other species.

“This is because the sweltering heat shuts down the cerebral cortex, leaving mainly the older, emotional and reactionary parts of the brain to steer the ship—and to pick up the pieces when those primitive forms of thinking crash the ship into a cliff.”

The team’s research has also been criticized for being flat-out racist. Professor Bobbins said in response that she “doesn’t care about skin colour. It’s not about innate differences between people, since even an annoyingly-polite Canadian will start to act like a jihadist nut job if he’s forced to live for years in a desert. Like they say in real estate, it’s ‘location, location, location.’”

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Posted in Crime, Health, Science0 Comments

Man with Skin Cancer loathes Doctors, Dies without Medical Treatment

Man with Skin Cancer loathes Doctors, Dies without Medical Treatment

Dateline: NEW JERSEY—Morris Berbowski, a 53 year-old man, died from skin cancer after refusing to be treated by any doctor for seven years, because he couldn’t find one who wasn’t “a condescending douchebag.”

Seven years ago, Berbowski did show a doctor an embarrassing rash that had developed on his legs and backside, but was traumatized by the experience.
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Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

“Diversity” is as “Diversity” Does

“Diversity” is as “Diversity” Does

Gotta love diversity!
You can be a hater in pretty much any way you want, and that’s OK, because ‘diversity’ is meritorious in itself.
If ‘diversity’ means cultural enrichment from Salafi Jihadists, Neo-Nazis, Alt-Right bigots, Holocaust deniers, Humanitarian Interventionists, Anti-Vaxxers, Anti-Semites, Muslimophobes, the anti-Islamophobia industry & regressive leftist community, Marxist hatemongers, Fascist fools, Kippers, Trots, Sparts, Christian Scientists, Scientologists, and God knows what else, then you might need to check your premises. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest1 Comment

Buddhism May be the Religion of Peace… But Hitch Was Having None of it

Buddhism May be the Religion of Peace… But Hitch Was Having None of it

http://www.salon.com/1998/07/13/news_79/

Far from his holier-than-all image, the Dalai Lama supports such questionable causes as India’s nuclear testing, sex with prostitutes and accepting donations from a Japanese terrorist cult.

SALON.COM

***

Oh dear. Somebody tell Hollywood. What a horrific hate crime.

Old Chris is insulting the religion of peace. Next thing people will be calling the 5th Dalai Lama a ‘bigot’ for commanding the skulls of his enemies to become ‘like eggs smashing against a rock.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

Who is More Callous? A Neocon Extremist or an Islamist Extremist?

Who is More Callous? A Neocon Extremist or an Islamist Extremist?

Christopher Hitchens & Ayatollah Khomeini.

One is a violent extremist and vicious radical ideologue who held the lives of innocent human beings in exceedingly low esteem.

The other one… Continue Reading

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Posted in Religionism0 Comments

(Trigger Warning) Evil Islamophobic Bigots Burning Burqas

(Trigger Warning) Evil Islamophobic Bigots Burning Burqas

Hate speech is not freedom of speech! How dare these privileged hegemonic Islamophobic bigots impose a single, monolithic interpretation upon the Burqa?! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Politicians, Pundits and Pursuers of Poontang

Politicians, Pundits and Pursuers of Poontang

I wanted to learn a second language. There are approximately 6,900 of them out there to choose from and I couldn’t decide which one to spend my time on.

I ruled out Chamicuro right away because only 8 people in the world spoke that language. I saw a picture of them, all toothless and horribly wrinkled, gathered together in the center of their village in Peru. I figured by the time I learned to speak Chamicuro they would all be dead.

I also drew a line through Dumi Bo’o, Liki, Njerep and Kaixana for pretty much the same reason. I talk to myself enough as it is.

It only made sense to choose a language spoken by the most people. French, German and Mandarin seem to be the big hitters. With Russian, Spanish and Japanese close behind.

Esperanto is supposed to be an international language, the one spoken by the most people around the globe. I don’t know anyone who speaks Esperanto so I didn’t bother with that one either.

It soon occurred to me there was another international language. One that everyone spoke but few understood. As odd as that sounds, it was true. People were always hearing it spoken but not really understanding it. And when they spoke it to someone else their real meaning was lost to the listener.

I wasn’t sure how something could be so prevalent and yet so completely misunderstood. It was here I found my language of choice and set out determined to become fluent in Bullshit.

It was the obvious choice because Bullshit is the preferred language of politicians, pundits and pursuers of poontang. I happily include myself in the latter category but my sense of honor prohibits me from taking undue advantage of anyone. So, I vowed to use my new found literacy in Bullshit for intellectual pursuits only and not try to talk some unsuspecting young woman into doing things she never knew she wanted to do.

It became evident at once that Bullshit was the sole form of communication used by the news media. That would be my focus of study. I worked hard at it and once I gained proficiency in this mother tongue I was astounded at what I was finally able to understand. It was very disheartening.

I will share some of what I learned but I feel you need to learn for yourself. As I did, start with the news media and after a bit I’m sure you will begin to recognize all the different dialects of Bullshit. I have listed a few of them below to help get you started.

Mostly Bullshit

This one was difficult to pick up at first because there are specks of truth here and there. But it is only used to camouflage the real Bullshit.

Mostly Bullshit is both misleading and convincing at the same time. It assumes if they feed one slice of the pie you’ll happily pounce on what’s left. Be careful here. It takes a practiced eye to spot and understand it.

Biased Bullshit

This one will acknowledge no other point of view. It takes shameful advantage by telling you what you want to hear. It is utterly devoid of any perspective. It convinces you that what they tell you is good and anything anyone else tells you is bad.

You need to take great care with this one because it can overwhelm your sensibility and leave you believing what you are being told is the absolute truth.

Straight Faced Bullshit

This is a much used dialect and can be seen either in a panel format or a single individual staring you right in the eye. In the panel format a group of people will speak Straight Faced Bullshit between themselves while you watch and listen. They sometimes become quite animated while insisting what they are saying has any basis in reality whatsoever.

You are outnumbered here so be careful.

When Straight Faced Bullshit is used by a single person they may sometimes employ tools to try and convince you what they are saying is not Bullshit. One of these tools is statistics. At times revealed in charts and graphs held up for your inspection. It can be quite convincing but is actually of no value whatsoever.

The best defense is to dismiss it altogether because there is no way to confirm its accuracy. Which is exactly why they use them. You always need to keep in mind that all users of Straight Faced Bullshit are very well paid. And the more people they can get to listen to them the more money they make. That should always be a red flag.

Total Bullshit

Believe it or not, Total Bullshit can be harder to identify. I have heard it referred to as Blatant Bullshit or Complete Bullshit. They are all pretty much the same thing. There are three ways that I found to detect Total Bullshit. Once you become fluent in Bullshit I am sure you will find many of your own.

The first is when something is attributed to an undisclosed source or a high ranking government official who wishes to remain anonymous. What follows after that is highly likely to be Total Bullshit.

The second is the use of “experts.” Their function is to interpret someone else’s Total Bullshit then add a heap of their own and blend them together in an indistinguishable mess. You have to pay particular attention to this one because somehow they make it all appear plausible. When you become fluent in bullshit you will readily see it makes no sense at all.

The third is closely related to the second one mentioned above. This is of the educated, erudite and urbane variety. These presenters of Total Bullshit try to make you feel as they presume themselves to be. Smart. They rely on convincing you that if you don’t understand what they’re saying it has to be true. Think of them as nothing more than self-important, perfumed dandies.

With Bullshit now under my belt I was able to gain a true perspective on what was really going on. If you are tired of getting suckered then I encourage you to learn how to speak and understand Bullshit as soon as possible.

***

(Contributor’s note: I first heard the expression, “fluent in bullshit”, from Gary Shandling. He may or may not have originated the term; but either way, it’s poor manners to use someone else’s work without proper acknowledgement. Rest In Peace, Gary).

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Posted in Education0 Comments

The United States Successfully Imprisons All of its Citizens

The United States Successfully Imprisons All of its Citizens

In the year 2024, the United States perfected its prison industry by imprisoning all of its citizens, including the judges, lawyers, and police.

Trials thereafter occurred within prison cells, as did all other business and family matters.
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Posted in Crime2 Comments

Sneak Peek at our “How it’s Really Made” feature film

Sneak Peek at our “How it’s Really Made” feature film

First look at our mockumentary featurette about Bobby Joe H. Jr. Jr., the narrator of all our “How It’s REALLY Made” edutainment videos. The full playlist is available on YouTube.

4K/UHD Principle photography is already finished, and we’re now editing and looking for distribution options.

Made with massive help from Ben Slavens, Jason Daniel, Tracy Lundell, Greg the Hero and a bunch more.

Follow us

At www.facebook.com/bobbyjoethemovie to get all the updates, and subscribe here to see some of the videos as they are released… but the Facebook page will have WAY more updates.

Full Video Here!

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Posted in Education, Video News0 Comments

My open letter to the guy crossing the street against traffic without looking up

My open letter to the guy crossing the street against traffic without looking up

Dear person who never looks up while crossing the street, no matter how much traffic there is,

Hey, how’s it going? I hope I didn’t interrupt you from anything important. Please, by all means, go ahead and finish texting LOL to your friend Brad. Don’t forget the smiley face emoticon. Your text is far more important than anything I have to discuss with you. I’ll wait……… Done yet? Super.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. You see, I’m the guy whose car almost creamed you earlier today when you walked into traffic against the light and never once looked up. I doubt you remember me.

I can imagine it must have been hard to hear my horn blaring or my brakes screeching to avoid hitting you, what with that AC / DC song playing on your iPod at 175 decibels. I could hear them rocking away from inside my car with my windows up. I have to say, excellent choice in music, dude. Can’t go wrong with Highway to Hell – a classic.

You know, when I was young, I was taught that the center of the solar system was the sun. I now realize that my teacher lied to me – because clearly the solar system revolves around an eight-inch space between those earbuds of yours.

Okay, so technically I may have had the “legal” right of way over you, seeing as the light was green for me, and you had that annoying, flashing DON’T WALK sign that you probably missed since it didn’t flash on your cell phone. But hey, who has time to read street signs when they’re busy checking out their Facebook page, am I right?

Anyhoo, what I was trying to say is I apologize. I’m deeply sorry if my car’s front bumper photobombed the Selfie you were taking. Given that my windshield was merely four feet away from your rib cage when our paths crossed, I fear I may have ruined your Snapchat moment.

I must confess, I envy you just a little. You looked so at peace – so completely unbothered by the gridlock you created for all those cars behind me trying in vain to make it through the intersection. I am in awe of your composure in the face of a long line of irate drivers who would have happily made you into a hood ornament.

A lesser person would have been intimidated at the thought of 4,000 pounds of steel bearing down on them at the speed of a hungry cheetah. But not you. You were so courageous, completely undaunted. Even the screams of the maddening crowd didn’t shake your certitude that the urban seas would part to make way for your triumphant, regal crossing. Way to make an entrance, King Cell Phone Dude.

And I simply must applaud your amazing ability to keep your eyes focused downward during your entire crossing. As I was trying in vain to get your attention, your eyes never once wandered from your cell phone screen during your entire 36-foot journey from curb to curb. I doubt a nuclear explosion could have diverted your concentration away from whatever YouTube roomba cat video you were locked in on.

Ya’ know, sometimes I find myself having to stop what I’m doing and pay attention to other people around me who insist that I observe basic courtesies of a modern society. You don’t suffer from that affliction. Not one bit. It must be nice not to have to worry about anything outside of a two-foot radius of your thumbs. What’s important to me is that you were able to saunter across the street at your own leisurely pace, without having to worry about anyone else on this planet. I am in awe of you.

I hope our paths cross again sometime. Perhaps we’ll meet on an airplane. I’ll be the guy right behind you in line waiting for fifteen minutes while you attempt to squeeze a suitcase the size of a refrigerator into the overhead compartment.

But if I know you – and I’m pretty sure I do – you won’t notice me then either. And that’s okay. Because no matter how long you make me wait for you to place your special order at the drive thru or ask the bank teller to convert your collection of 2,578 pennies into dollar bills, it’s okay. Take your time. Please don’t hurry on my account. All that matters to me – and the other 25 people in line behind you – is that you focus on the needs of Numero Uno, buddy. Act like we’re not even here. That should be easy for you to do.

On behalf of all the people in this world who are forced to wait on the outside of whatever impenetrable magic bubble you live in, I just want to say, thank you for reminding all of us that your time is more valuable than ours.

Warmest regards,

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Posted in Human Interest, Opinion/Editorial, Top Stories0 Comments

Who are the Real Individualists in UK Politics?

Who are the Real Individualists in UK Politics?

The ‘economic individualism/economic collectivism’ dichotomy is so idiotic, I wish it could be binned, preferably along with those who propagate it.

Welfare and the NHS, designed to relieve and alleviate the suffering of real people, rather than of meaningless abstractions, are much less ‘collectivist’ concerns than the Tory veneration of ‘the economy’ and ‘the national interest.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Serious Commentary, Society0 Comments

Stop the Tyranny of Facts. Check Your Privilege, & Stop Violating my Intuitions

Stop the Tyranny of Facts. Check Your Privilege, & Stop Violating my Intuitions

As I just commented to some friends on Facebook about this HORRIBLE article…

We have to do something about the plague of #altliterarycritique!

We truly are in a post-Derridean age, where arbitrary social constructs just don’t matter any more, and anyone can just push their so-called FACTS on us without expecting some sort of radical deconstructive pushback. Continue Reading

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Posted in Education, Human Interest0 Comments

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