Posted in Biz News Books, Newspapers & Misc Education Society

College Life: What to Expect

Unlike high school, a typical college day is a lot less scheduled depending on how well you plan and manage your day. In addition, you have more freedom and opportunities to explore your interests and passions. While at it, you…

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Posted in Health Science

U.S. Declares Plastic a Major Food Group, Part of a Balanced Diet

WASHINGTON – In a move described as “accepting reality” the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has declared plastic to be “a major food group.” US FDA spokesperson Carl Manson stated: “We admit that trace amounts of plastic leak into…

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Posted in Strange People

The Unofficial & Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of ‘POTUS’

Our national beloved-love of acronyms has brought us a new term for our fearless Fuhrers. The term, which took me a while to understand (as everyone tells you acronyms but doesn’t bother to translate them for you!) is ‘POTUS’ –…

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Posted in Strange People

More Memes of ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’

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Posted in Environment Travel

You Can Take a Hike

Lately, whenever someone invites me to go hiking, my response is usually: “You can take a hike.” That’s because, I really don’t care for hiking. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not lazy. Okay, maybe that’s a lie. But I used to…

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Posted in Health

Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe this Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #2

How was yesterday’s piece? Here are some more absolutely batshit crazy things I’ve noticed. There is an ‘Autistic Community’ Who All Think the Same things. WRONG! There are autistic individuals, and some support mainstream SJW ideology; others don’t. The Autistic…

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Posted in Health

Top Ten Completely Wacko Mental Health Myths (If You Believe This Shit, You Must Be Crazy!) #1

Psychotics are Dangerous and Evil. WRONG! People often seem to confuse psychosis with psychopathy. “Most people with psychosis are more likely to harm themselves than others.” Source: NHS Autistic People Lack Empathy.

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Posted in Strange People

Have A Trump-Free Day!

It is time to institute a new holiday into our already heavily laden days-off agenda. (Our brethren government employees always want more excuses for days off!) With the sudden stress that has seized the nerves of our entire nation due…

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Posted in Human Interest Opinion/Editorial Society Travel

Welcome to Portland

[The following is a message from the Portland, Oregon Visitors’ Bureau.] Welcome to Portland, Oregon, America’s Most Liberal City. If you’re planning to spend a few days in the Rose City, we at the Portland Visitor’s Bureau would like to…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Society

Uncouth Act at Remembrance Day Inspires Award-Winning Poem

London Poet Alan Wright has won ‘Poem of the year 2018’ – an impromptu poem recital, inspired by the actions of an uncouth man in the crowd at London’s Remembrance Day. Wright 52, told Glossy News: “I was asked to…

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Society

Glossy News Has Published Our First Book! Never Have I Ever: the Game in Book Form

You know those $30 board games you play that are really wicked and really fun? Yeah, we made our own version, and it’s in book form; and it’s available for $5.99 on the first edition. The second edition promises to…

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Posted in Education World News

OMG! World’s Logic Scholars Left Reeling in Mass Suicide: Donald Trump Makes ‘Impossible Discovery!’

Since the days of Aristotle, logic has been considered a cornerstone of civilisation. Logicians have been highly respected (and despised) scholars, and while nobody particularly likes them, their intellectual credentials have generally been considered second to none. Despite the cavils…

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Posted in Health Serious Commentary

Incel Culture & Neurodiversity: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

I recently moved towards a dialogue on Twitter; and while I knew debates over Neurodiversity were pretty ugly things, even I was shocked at the bizarre distortions of my calls for autistic males to reject victimhood; whether out of malice,…

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Posted in Health

London Doctor Gets Head Stuck in Patient’s Anus

London doctor Mary Silverstein accidentally got her whole head trapped inside a patient’s anus during a routine prostate examination. Patient Walter Bottomley 54, told Glossy News:

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Posted in Health Politics Top Stories

My Private Workout with Obama

[The following is a 100% partially true story]. People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Glossy News. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny bit occasionally – and by…

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Posted in Crooked Cops

Brainy Sacramento Solve Police Brutality Problem: African Americans Banned from Carrying Cell Phones!

Most of you will have seen the recent scandal where the police shot an unarmed black man multiple times in the back while he was standing in his own grandmother’s back yard, holding a cell phone that officers mistook for…

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Posted in Science & Technologizzy Top Stories Travel

Alleged Faked Photographs Challenge Credibility Of Wildlife Photographer Of The Year Awards

London’s Natural History Museum has been forced to rethink the entry requirements for its Wildlife Photographer of the Year awards. Once again, a prizewinning entry has been subsequently disqualified. That image, entered in the 2017 competition and called The Night…

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Posted in Religionism World News

Northern Bible II: The Wackiest Ancient Israel Headlines from the Pre-Zionist Media!

Judas Finally Sells out to Rupert Murdoch, Becomes Useful Idiot Josiah Mulls Including Torah Trigger Warnings for Gory Content: Court Conservatives Plot to Overthrow Radical ‘Snowflake Princelings’ King Solomon Regresses to Radical Pomo Nihilism: Theological Diversity is Our Greatest Strength!…

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Posted in Society

Survey Says Dolphins Better Prepared for Retirement than Most Americans

A new study by the American Banking Association finds that dolphins are better prepared for retirement than most Americans.

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Posted in Crime Top Stories

WHAT?! Putin Accuses UK Gov Of Satirical, Russian Double Agent Murder In Moscow

The Kremlin has angrily accused the British Government of assassinating an ex-MI6 double agent, resident in Moscow. Alexei Smithski was crushed to death last week when a large, trapezoidal, cast iron weight, labelled ‘10 Tons’ fell on his head. Moscow…

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Posted in Education Society

Unbelievable! Definitive “Thirteen Rules For Debate” Laid to Waste by Pompous Ivory Tower Intellectual!

Renowned Prigley Uni token cameo shitlecturer Rick Aston Judas Khomeini-Butcher has recently provided a suitably vicious list of rules, for debating SJWs, neocons, idiotic Marxist intellectuals and religious fanatics. But surprisingly enough, some are not so impressed.

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Posted in Biz News Health

Ghosts or Sleep Paralysis?

You know how everything seems scariest in the middle of the night? How many times have you woken, terrified that there is someone or something in your bedroom or in your house? Perhaps you feel frozen in fear, seemingly unable…

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Posted in Biz News Health Technology

Young Walmart Folk Discouraged About Making Ends-Meat (!), Learn New Recipe

Having worked at a dime over minimum wage, Maria Jones appreciates the part-time wages from Walmart. She’s struggled, but a new, FREE recipe handed down from the notoriously progressive management has solved almost all her problems.

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Posted in Kidz Zone Travel

How I Flew to Amsterdam for Free (& You Can Too!)

I love to travel, but who doesn’t? I got an offer too good to be true, so I Googled it… and then I accepted it. I got a free trip to Amsterdam out of it.

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Posted in Music Religionism

Another Confidential Leak from the CIA Hymnbook (X): “And Can it Be?”

The renowned hymn writer Charles Wesley was the brother of the famous evangelist John Wesley. However, the mighty values and spirit that drove these men is not to be found among today’s establishment. Here is another confidential leak from the…

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