Posted in Society

By the Grace of Sean (Bad Poetry for Bad Media)

Bellicose, via mega phone, go… Secure your homes, Holmes, Cause you’re all alone, Jones All the skin and bones talk, All them victims criss-crossed… With their children en tow… They tried to cross the road!   By the grace of…

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Posted in Society

Cruella De Ville Muscling My Customer

”What is it?” I said looking at a very indecisive customer. ”I’m just not sure if I should buy the shoes, mate!” he says, confusing me. ”You love the look, the price, they’re comfortable.” I wait for his long-owed reply,…

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Posted in Politics Society

Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Our occasional guest contributor, Ted ‘I Know What You Did Last Night’ Haggard has provided us with one of the saltiest, spiciest lil old hot takes we’ve had in a while here at Glossy News! Enjoy! WOOP…

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Posted in Strange People

Blond President Jokes

What is fine dining to the Blond President? Anything on the Value Meal menu at McDonald’s. How does the Blond President find a new wife? He goes to the Walmart Discount East European Find A Sexy Wife website. What did…

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Posted in Biz News Society

Carbon-Guzzlers of the World Unite! Whole Food Flights Bring Y’all THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!

Whole Foods Markets Executive V.P. of Growth and Business Development, Jim Sud announced at a company event, that Whole Foods Market was, “taking to the sky” by launching its own airline. “We realized a long time ago that selling dubiously…

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Posted in Human Interest Society

The Knives of Athenry: A Far from Humorous Satire on ‘The Fields of Athenry’ (NSFW)

By a lonely Irish ward, I heard an infant wailing “Mammy, they said they’re taking me away, For the people repealed the 8th To be cut in pieces is my fate Mammy, save me, or I’ll never see the light…

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