Posted on 07 February 2017.
Posted on 04 February 2017.
The only thing to be afraid of is fear itself.
Be good to the one person who needs your respect and gentleness more than any other person.
A million friends and family cannot carry the burden that your one caressing hand can bring you.
Many loves begin and end, but by cultivating your own narrow little garden, forests unseen shall bloom, carried forth in splendor by the wings of the wind.
Posted on 31 January 2017.
Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.
It’s just horrifying to hear the Republican Party have finally backslidden, and embraced the evil sin of Sodom!
May this needy God of theirs have mercy on their souls.
Posted on 27 January 2017.
The new spate of chilly and foggy ongoing weather conditions has left the crossed-armed and annoyed Britons shaking their heads in disgust. No place has been spared, ranging from Cumbria through West Scotland, the South West, Wales, and even as far as other neighbouring locations. But at the same time, the prospect of getting the chance to moan once again about the dull weather that has been ongoing for a few weeks has equally filled all of them with a collective pleasure.
John Youknowho, an inhabitant of the rainy Peak District revealed to us: ‘Did you have the opportunity to look at the weather conditions where we are? We have never seen anything like this ever before. The authorities are not helping nor the council. It’s just great. I feel like a pig in a pigsty. The last few days, I really could not stop myself from complaining about the weather from the time that I stepped out of bed to find myself knee deep in water, not that you from the south actually care, to the time I ordered my last drink at the pub as we pumped the water out. I’ve spent my whole day in this dull and raining weather and I’m loving every bit of it.’
Mr John’s moaning was joined by another fellow moaner in Wales who revealed about their happiness of getting the opportunity to shout at the council officials who were in the incapacity of providing any help as it was the weekend. A group of pensioners were verbally wishing that one of their group would get lost in the fog and get hit by something. They could then freely blame someone and moan about not being able to attend the funeral.
Until you find another prospect of happily complaining about the weather or any other situation to keep the tradition going, you can try exciting weather themed online slots at Magical Vegas such as such as Cloud Quest, Natural Powers, Noah’s Ark, and Tornado Farm Escape. Here you won’t have the opportunity to complain with its large variety of games such as online slots, roulette, table and card games, and online casino games to keep you entertained through your mobile device in any weather conditions, anywhere and anytime. What’s even better is that you get no deposit free spins!
Back in London, thousands of commuters got the opportunity to rejoice and moan about the derailment of a South-eastern freight train, even though it was not the fault of the weather. This led to the services being delayed and another ideal occasion for the Londoners to express their discontentment of commuting in such harsh weather conditions. They were getting squashed in the train stations and battling to get out of this chaos while hoping to get home safe, if ever they manage to go back home. While waiting to have some info about the next train that could get them to their destinations, many jumped on this situation to google how to claim their fares back or are happily taking a day off from work hoping that the weather gets worst.
Posted on 23 January 2017.
Kanye West has once again surprised his fans and critics alike by announcing plans to collaborate with the infamous serial killer Charles Manson on an upcoming album.
Turbo Grafx 16 promises to be the most edgy and non-conformist albums yet from one of the most creative and innovative stars of rap.
Yet sadly, contrary to persistent rumours in recent times, Kanye West is not collaborating with fellow artistic geniuses Vanilla Ice and Justin Bieber.
So, it really is just Kanye ‘n’ Charles this time! Or as Kanye himself calls him: Continue Reading
Posted on 20 January 2017.
NOTE FROM WALLACE:
Patti’s corpus is vast and well worth reading. Explore it!
On Tuesday night, President Barack Obama gave his 5th State of the Union address. It was a mixed bag, if you ask anyone who was listening. As usual, Obama failed in his attempt to bring the country to a closer understanding of each other. The GOP response to the SOTU address proved that point. Continue Reading
Posted on 19 January 2017.
… is never to make any, of course. I mean, seriously. Just look at my track record over the past twenty years. Continue Reading
Posted on 17 January 2017.
© 2017 Tom Skulldaney
I write regulations for the government’s Farm Improvement and Protection Bureau. I know nothing about farms. But I do know you can’t get ahead in a bureaucracy if you know too much about what you’re doing. It grates on your fellow bureaucrats and gets on the boss’s nerves. The rule I go by is: If your regulations do not create at least four more jobs in the department, stop and rewrite them.
On the wall of my office is an inspirational farm themed poster. Every office is required to have one. Mine is a man in a suit and sunglasses holding up a horse’s tail and pointing underneath it. The caption at the top asks, “What’s Under a Pony’s Tail?” The answer at the bottom is, “The Public”. That is so true.
As regulations proliferate, life gets better. How could it not? I never realized how little attention people paid to the things they do. Now as a regulation writer I notice these things and put them right. When asked how I come up with all my regulations, I tell them it’s because I care enough to keep my eyes open.
For instance, this past weekend I was watching an old black and white movie called Ma and Pa Kettle Back on the Farm. In one scene, Ma Kettle walks into the chicken pen and just starts tossing grain around willy nilly. It annoyed me how little thought she put into it. Very haphazard. Her indifference caused some of the grist to go completely through the wire mesh and drop useless on the ground outside. Some was ruined when it landed in the little water troughs ringing the coop. And not a small portion ended up on the backs of the chickens sending them running off in all directions pecking at each other. Her laughter at their antics grated on me. I felt this to be a carelessness that was begging to be addressed.
That led to me to create the regulations for Fowl Nourishment Distribution. I drew detailed illustrations of the correct right-handed and left-handed distribution methods. And explicitly outlawed the downward toss and the semi swirl method. The one Ma Kettle used. Equipment requirements included an irrometer for current soil conditions (both moisture and content), an anemometer for wind speed and direction, and a balloon borne Rawinsonde (to an altitude of not less than 1,500 feet). This was for monitoring real time meteorological data in case conditions changed during the feeding.
The final regulation required a Certificate of Competency along with a completed Current Feeding Conditions form. Both had to be in the feeder’s possession at all times. It also prohibited the feeding of fowl by anyone under the age of 18. Because of my boss’s belief in employee empowerment I was also able to assess the amount of the fine. I decided on $1,000 for the first infraction, $3,000 for the second and the third would mandate the confiscation of all farm animals including pets, livestock and minors under the age of 14.
I impressed my boss when I included details for property seizure and subsequent liquidations via public auctions. As my reward for such thoroughness I was sent to a rural area of the country to gain an expertise in regulation enforcement. I was accompanied by four armed agents and required to carry my “On the spot pad.”
When the public complains about government waste they should be shown this pad. It allows any properly deputized individual to write extemporaneous regulations. If you see something amiss when you are in the market or on a date you can take your pad out and instantly create a binding regulation. The perforated line ¾ the way down the form allows you to add your own fine amount, tear it off and hand it to the offender. Impressive efficiency.
It didn’t take long to spot an infraction. A woman, younger than Ma Kettle but just as reckless, was in the act of thoughtless grain distribution. The five of us approached and I explained to her how she had run afoul of government regulations regarding the feeding of chickens. She was both uncooperative and ungrateful. As I discussed the acceptable forms of payment, no personal checks but we were prepared to accept a credit card, a man hurried out of the farmhouse. When I informed him of our business here he angrily began explaining how a farm really works.
Frightened, one of the enforcement people put his hand on his sidearm and yelled, “Don’t listen!” But, it was too late. I had heard what he said and my job at the Farm Improvement and Protection Bureau was now ruined. Upon our return to the office I confessed to my boss what had happened. He put his arm around my shoulder and said, “Too much knowledge leads to a loss of objectivity. You should know that.” He asked me what I knew about medical procedures. When I told him nothing at all, he brightened and reassigned me to the department that oversees and regulates neurological surgery.
Posted on 13 January 2017.
You love bologna, but you never really thought about what it’s made out of. The answers will surely surprise and shock you, and if they don’t, you may be the strongest person alive.
Bologna is one of America’s favorite foods, but how they make it just might make your mouth get all damp and watery. Continue Reading
Posted on 11 January 2017.
Nothing morally consequential follows from ‘the natural.’
There is nothing ‘unnatural’ about mass atrocities, wifebeating, gay-bashing, anti-disabled sentiment, racism, or dying of a heroin overdose. Continue Reading
Posted on 10 January 2017.
YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR LIFE – Misguided Parenting Strategies that Sounded Good at the Time is available for purchase as a paperback book or as an ebook at fine retailers everywhere, as well as a few shady outlets I would never set foot in. Continue Reading
Posted on 08 January 2017.
Meet “Moderate” Muslim and “True” Liberal…
Or MM & TL, for short!
MM: Look, I don’t believe terrorists represent Islam, there are many things they do that contradict the Quran and Sunnah.
TL: No, you’re a “cherry picker”, accept that they’re following the “true” version of your religion. Continue Reading
Posted on 03 January 2017.
Note from Wallace:
Affable Northern ideas lad Chris is quite a productive and creative person! And every now and then, his indomitable oop o’ t’ Watford gap spirit succeeds in coming up with yet another exciting venture. Indeed, Chris has even featured in our Xmas books profile:
You can keep track of his stuff at his blog: Continue Reading
Posted on 31 December 2016.
Does anyone else think the whole ‘Fuck you, 2016?’ thing has a bit of a class bias?
I don’t think 2016 is objectively worse than other recent years. Continue Reading
Posted on 26 December 2016.
NOTE FROM WALLACE: This note was penned by Jonathan Mitchell, prominent autism advocate, before the recent US election result. I think this piece is of good historical interest, as it captures some of the uncertainty and anxiety in the air at that time.
The election is today and I’ve already cast my vote. I wanted to make a blog post before it ends tomorrow.
Donald Trump believes that autism is caused by vaccines. I think he may also believe in a government conspiracy. He also mocked a disabled reporter which means he mocked me and all other disabled people. Continue Reading
Posted on 23 December 2016.
NOTE: An earlier version of this was drafted a few months ago, and never published.
Still, it’s all worth thinking about anyway. The topic of acceptable antisemitism, a key form of acceptable racism, remains pertinent.
Just look at the following link. I think the headline may be inappropriate and probably risks tapping into Alt-Right sentiment. Perhaps focusing on anti-semitism might been better? Still, it is well known journalists often do not choose the headline anyway. Continue Reading
All of Our Categories:Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial