One Family’s Intolerance Toward Intolerance

Orange County, CA- “My grandfather was bald, so was his Da… so is mine,” Jake Collins tells me as he runs a tattooed hand across his shiny pink scalp. “It’s kinda a family trait, like diabetes, quick tempers, and tattoos,” He pulls up his sleeve to show off more of his ink, then frames his face with hands marked HATE and EVIL, then flashes a quick smile that’s equal parts gold and mischief.

“Great grandpa Seamus, the first Collins to call America home was more of a dabbler when it came to working the needle. He worked a hot brand for the K Ranch in Kansas City, markin’ steer for his keep. Tattooing for him I think was just a release valve. That is, until grandpa Jack came around and took an early interest in the craft.”

“My daughter Kaylee is no different. She designed this in kindergarden,” he says, and shows me a lopsided hopscotch board that covers his right forearm. Read more One Family’s Intolerance Toward Intolerance

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Glossy News Exclusive Leak! ‘Rudy Giuliani Defense’ Finally Revealed!

Washington, DC- After months of seemingly incoherent and contradictory explanations, including this weekends bombshell revelation by the Presidents personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, who admitted in a televised interview on Sunday, that President Donald Trump had ongoing contact with Vladimir Putin-connected Russians for the duration of his Presidential campaign… Some recently leaked Trump Organization internal documents reveal key details regarding the strategy behind the President’s unorthodox defense. We spoke to a source within the Trump Organization, who verified these details on the condition of anonymity.

According to series of emails sent on April 8th of 2017, two (unidentified) White House lawyers were growing more and more concerned with the direction of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation, and had made the determination that if the investigation continued to proceed on it’s current trajectory, the President and his children, were likely to face criminal charges in the months leading up to the 2018 mid-term election.

Read more Glossy News Exclusive Leak! ‘Rudy Giuliani Defense’ Finally Revealed!

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No Such Thing as “Food Allergy”

Often we have heard of people who will tell you they are allergic to certain foods. Sometimes as a way to dodge eating certain foods that they do not like. Well, some see it as a thing that is just fancy to say, (the things that people in this world do).

However, not everyone has a flimsy excuse for trying to avoid to eat something. For other people, these allegations are actually true. Or least they think they are. Okay, what are we saying? People that consume certain foods and react to them and react, automatically see them as foreign food in their bodies. Read more No Such Thing as “Food Allergy”

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Adderall Effectiveness Being Questioned After Recent Revelations

Adderall, the premier pharmaceutical prescribed for treatment of ADHD in many Americans, has recently had its effectiveness called into question. With a long history of providing focus to those who suffer from ADHD, it has historically been thought of as a wonder drug with proven and consistent results. Now those long held beliefs are being threatened after the revelation that president Trump is a frequent user of this product.

Read more Adderall Effectiveness Being Questioned After Recent Revelations

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Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do What You Want With My Body’ now disturbs her terribly. “Not only did we sing it, we did it.” confessed the singer fresh from her Golden Globe victory with the song “Shallow.” Read more Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

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Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!

The Trump administration’s current representatives for infant health, general nutrition and healthy lifestyles have recently come out fighting against an insidious CNN / mainstream media CONSPIRACY against selfless, altruistic, patriotic restaurant companies.

The three officials in question, representing KFC, McDonalds and Massachusetts Meth Burger, have pointed out that the plague of fake news doesn’t only extend to unjust and ungrounded character attacks against the best President ever, but also represents a ton of malicious bad faith attacks against the various kinds of nutritious food we have all come to know and love so well.

Choice cuts include the following:

FAKE NEWS CONSPIRACY

Have you noticed nobody was even TALKING about the supposed ‘bad health effects’ of McDonalds until the mainstream liberal media started moralizing about it? Well, isn’t that convenient… It’s almost as though these imaginary ‘health risks’ were all just standard issue made-up FAKE NEWS nonsense that the MSM have deliberately concocted in order to make Donald Trump and his close associates look bad! I mean, it would be the first time, would it!

Trump deftly adds:

People are saying stuff!

MASSAGING THE STATS

Read more Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!

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