Schrodinger’s Cat is Envious

            Quarantining is difficult. Wearing a mask is hard. Taking a jab in the arm is annoying. All this just to save your life? Wow, do I feel sorry for you. Not.

             You know what is difficult? Being locked in a box for 85 years with your only companions a piece of radioactive material, a Geiger counter, and a glass tube of poisonous gas. Some friends. At least Tom Hanks had Wilson. And he wasn’t trying to kill him.

            I have to sit in this box just so physicists can determine when quantum superposition ends and reality becomes a discrete possibility. After so many years they should no longer be ‘uncertain’, and let me out of this death trap. I don’t even have internet in here.

            You can quarantine in your apartment, which, unless you have a studio apartment in Manhattan, is larger than my box. True, your rent is more than mine. But you can still order take-out and watch Netflix.  

            My fate is decided by the person who opens my box. You can stay in your box and be safe, or risk illness and possibly death, by leaving. You determine your own fate. In a free society, you have the right to make your own decisions whether you want to wear a mask, take a jab, or quarantine.  But if you don’t want to protect yourself or others, perhaps you too should sit in a box and not put other people’s lives at risk. I would love the company.

            Just remember, the pandemic will eventually be over and you will once again go about your lives. I want to go to a concert too. But, unlike you, I will still be stuck in this box.


Author: Jeffrey Weiss

Wadayasay? Here's your chance to sound off!