Category: Society
KKK Reps Surface to File Anti-Anti-Hate Lawsuit
Tuscaloosa, AL – Glossy News – In what legal scholars are calling a possibly precedent changing landmark case, the KKK this week launched a challenge against organizations that “think they can out-hate [their] white agenda,” according to a brief filed…
Glenn Beck Threatens to Create New Religion “Ameri-Mormonistianity”
Coming off the self-proclaimed super success of his Restoring Honor Rally in Washington, D.C., Glenn Beck has reached the level of leadership needed to take his prophetic brand of hegemony to the next level. But is his firebrand flavor of…
Taco Bell Chihuahua Births Anchor Pups Beneath Porch
Bella, former Taco Bell spokes-chihuahua has produced a litter of anchor pups under the Newsome family’s front porch. Mr. Newsome is beside himself and wants to kill the damn thing and its entire family. “We don’t have the money to…
Pakistani Man Shuts Down Internet Due To Footwear Problems
Nobi Patel was visibly discouraged as he searched shop after shop looking for a comfortable pair of shoes to wear while bicycle powering up his village’s internet section. After almost a week of no internet connections, angry neighbors were hurling…
Steinbrenner Options Satan for Minor Mephistopheles to be Named Later
HELL (GlossyNews) — Word comes via famed psychic John Edwards, that legendary sports icon George Steinbrenner has not gone ‘gentle into that good night.’ Other sources confirm Edwards’ assertions. The former Yankees owner has discharged Satan from any further managerial…
Ground Zero Camels More Offensive Than Joe Camel or Camel-Toe
NEW YORK (GlossyNews) — In a scene guaranteed to blow the stacks off the rabid Right, who insist no religion except Christianity should be worshiped within a 12,000 mile radius of Ground Zero, a herd of sub-quattro even-toed ungulates were…
Holy Grail Found Inside Ark of the Covenant Inside Noah’s Ark
Astounding news continues from a Hong Kong based group of evangelical archeologists. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed headlines this year with discovery of Noah’s Ark on Mt. Ararat. Detailed work at…
92-Year-Old Pervert Arrested After Metro Bus Grope Fest
Branson, MO. – A senior citizen bus trip from the Days End senior home in Louisville, KY to Branson, Mo, a popular tourist spot in SW Missouri, has caused some trouble for the old folks and a serious run in…
The New Uncool — Using Turn Signals
LOS ANGELES, California (GlossyNews) — Scientists have determined that an alarming and increasing number of drivers are “turn signal challenged”, that is, unable to use a turn signal when driving. This form of mental malfunction appears to be more pronounced…
Hog Jaw, Arkansas Named Kissin’ Cousin Capital of America
Hog Jaw, Arkansas has just been named the Kissin’ Cousin Capital of America by Tammy Fay Cosmetics, beating out the other Hog Jaw, Alabama by a mile. The mayor of Hog Jaw, Humphrey Dumpty, in announcing this most dubious honor…