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Holy Grail Found Inside Ark of the Covenant Inside Noah’s Ark

Holy Grail Found Inside Ark of the Covenant Inside Noah’s Ark

Astounding news continues from a Hong Kong based group of evangelical archeologists. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed headlines this year with discovery of Noah’s Ark on Mt. Ararat. Detailed work at the site has now uncovered the most precious relics of Christendom.

According to remarks by lead Archeologist Xi Lang, the Holy Grail has been found inside the Ark of the Covenant inside the bowels of Noah’s Ark. According to the Xinyou Qing Project website, Dr. Lang elaborates on the discovery saying, “We climb big mountain. We find big woods pieces. This not normal so we inspectagate. I send in ten my most expendable people. They say they find box but then I hear loud sounds see bright light and hear screaming! When I go in my people face melted off. There is open box with broken rocks and stuff and a brunch of cups and gobrets.”

To a lesser archaeologist, identifying the sacred cup of Christ may have taken years of meticulous study, but Lang is well studied in Bibliology and Indiana Jones. He immediately noticed the modest wooden carved cup of a carpenter. Since the discovery, a multitude of archaeologists have examined and tested the sacred artifacts against both Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenant and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade and found them to be entirely authentic.

This site is the most important discovery since Buddha’s glucose meter was uncovered in The Lost Krispy Kreme outside the ancient city of Lumbini. Archaeologists from across the globe have begun scouring the site for other hidden ancient treasures. It is suspected that the Temple of Doom and up to six Crystal Skulls may still remain undiscovered at the site. Progress has been slow as workers have to out run giant boulders up to twelve times a day.

Despite broad consensus among the archaelogical community Pope Benedict XVI remains a skeptic. At a recent gathering, he publicly denounced the discovery declaring, “Holy Grail? Bah! We already have two!”


This post was written by

- who has written 149 posts on

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.


8 Responses to “Holy Grail Found Inside Ark of the Covenant Inside Noah’s Ark”

  1. This article has had a heavy editorial hand from what I originally submitted. Overall, I must say the result is much improved over my inital offering.

  2. P. Beckert says:

    well, all I did was dot the i’s and cross the t’s. But glad you’re happy. That helps alot.

  3. Well while u were at it Beckert, might’ve reminded me about correct speeling of the word ‘initial’ that’s all I’m sayin?

  4. P. Beckert says:

    Every great piece of writing, even lowly posts, have at least one little error to remind us we’re human. I don’t know where the hell that just came from but you gotta admit, it sounds good.

  5. Very entertaining. But if you want to know the latest (and I insist this should be the last word) on the Ark, please read my little booklet, published last week(ten pages, thirty pages of references and documents etc)and free on

    “Ark of the Covenent: Evidence supporting the Ethiopian traditions.”

    I wrote it for the National Museum, Addis Ababa.

  6. Well Hi to Dr. Leeman! You speeled ‘covenant’ wrong. I’ll read your booklet; I’m somewhat aware of the Ethiopian Ark issue, but always willing to learn more.

    One of my best friends is from Ethiopia, and I’ve visited his Church. Fascinating culture.

    Am very happy Dr. Leeman, that you took the story in the spirit it was offered. But admit it; you just dropped by to plug yer book…

  7. Tyson Bam says:

    sorry liberties. I hope you are not upset with the liberties I have taken. I wanted to okay it with you before it went to print. Came together decently though. The idea from the start had a lot of juice

  8. U are SO starting to get with the program Tyson! Good deal!


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