Category: Society
Resilient Christmas Claims Victory in War on Christmas
NORTH POLE – Christmas – the holiday widely regarded as the most wonderful time of the year – today claimed victory in the War on Christmas, after enemy combatants and political correctness brigades surrendered in the early hours of the…
Neighbors Amicably Resolve Fence Dispute
MAPLEVIEW, OHIO – In a rare event, two Mapleview citizens have resolved their fence dispute without resort to violence, litigation or letters to the editor. Myron Beaver and Stew Lansing, longtime neighbors, were engaged in what could have been a…
‘Over 150 Survivors Were Trapped Inside The Titanic For Up To 5 Years,’ Claims Naval Expert
Woods Hole, MA – (SatireWorld.com) – After reviewing almost 5,000 digital photographs taken from inside the sunken luxury liner the Titanic, a Woods Hole scientist has concluded that there were survivors who lived inside the ship for up to five…
Fiscal Cliff More Popular than Niagara Falls
It’s official. The Fiscal Cliff has overtaken Niagara Falls as America’s favorite tourist destination. District of Columbia Mayor Vincent Gray was delighted to announce that his city is home to the newest Washington attraction. “Given that we’ve got all those…
Economic Struggle Forces Mary, Joseph to Merge Christ’s B-day, Christmas Presents Into One
BETHLEHEM – Citing financial hardship amid the ongoing global economic downturn, Mary and Joseph – the parents of Jesus Christ – have conceded that they will have to merge their only son’s birthday and Christmas presents into one. After years…
Newspapers Sleep with the Fishes
MIAMI–Newspapers became unwitting casualties of Black Friday after holiday shoppers swore off traditional sales marketing to shop discounts by smartphone. “I got the paper once a week, on Sundays and only for the coupons,” said one early morning shopper. “No…
West Nile Death Toll Rises to 4,028 Mosquitoes
DRUID HILLS, GEORGIA – The latest report released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has found that the death toll in the recent spread of West Nile’s disease has increased to more than 4,000 mosquitoes. More than half…
Center of Universe Needs Diaper Changing
INDIANAPOLIS – The center of local couple Jeff and Angela Paulson’s universe needed its diaper changing Saturday, after defecating all over its Pampers slip-on. Even though it is routinely described as the “greatest thing in the world”, the multicellular organism…
Zombies Found Roaming Chain Stores Black Friday Weekend
Reports have been coming in from across the country of a rash of zombie-like masses rushing about specific chain stores in large communities in a feeding like frenzy. Zombieologists, a newly developed scientific category that specifically studies zomboid type manifestations…
Large-eyed Child Gets Surgery
Eleven-year-old Olivia Miller of Gopher’s Gulch, Nebraska recently underwent delicate eye-reduction surgery in order to save her life. “We are all so grateful,” said Olivia’s mother. “For years, her eyes were bigger than her stomach and she insisted on putting…