Category: Society
Non-Booby Barbie Attracting Attention
A while back Mattel Inc. announced that it would be ‘downsizing’ their trademark, their symbol, their meal ticket, the Barbie doll. Barbie, that picture perfect plastic woman doll who represented many a young girl’s dreams of femininity. “Downsizing’ in this…
Jesus Cancels 2nd Coming Because People Have Screwed Up His Birthday
The long awaited Second Coming of Jesus Christ has been canceled. Jesus Himself has ordered this. Coming down incognito to plan for his much anticipated descension to the same world that had rejected him so many millenia ago, He scoped…
Fat People Live Longer, Healthier Lives, According to New Research
It’s finally time to get off the treadmill and stuff down some pork sausage as researchers have determined that people who have at least 30% body fat live longer, healthier lives than their active, slim counterparts.
FBI Fears NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Fits Profile of Lone Gunman
Wayne LaPierre, notorious leader of the gun cult religion known as the NRA, is under investigation by the FBI as fitting the profile of the notorious ‘lone gunman’ so prevalent in modern American literature and films. His stoney faced demeanor,…
New Year Baby Refuses to be Born
SAN FRANCISCO–The first baby of New Year 2013 is refusing to depart his mother’s womb. The child–identified during the first trimester as a boy and subsequently named Jonah by his parents—stated from in utero, he would permit another infant to…
NRA solves gun violence problem: Bullet-proof vests for every American
A small minority of Americans (estimated to be less than 87%) were shocked by recent remarks by Wayne LaPierre, CEO of the National Rifle Association, the world’s largest gun rights lobbying organization. In his remarks LaPierre argued forcefully that the…
The Nightmare of Living in America’s Friendliest Town
You might think living in America’s friendliest town must be a fairy tale. Au contraire. It’s a living Hell. Forbes Magazine just came out with its ranking of the Friendliest Towns in America. Coming in at the #1 spot on…
Hipster Insists “All Clothes Are Reversible”
Baron Davuson, a 30-something living in Seattle, knows HTML, database management craft beer brewing and how to dress like a wealthy hobo. Davuson made a splash this week with his bold pronouncement, that any clothing can be made hip simply…
Bad Ideas in the News
Every now and then, Glossy News publishes quirky stories about people who are in the news for having made really bad decisions. We find it helps our readers feel better about themselves. If you’re having a rough day, if you’re…
Siege Of NRA Headquarters By Outraged Citizens Enters Its Second Day.
The siege at the NRA Headquarters has entered its second day. Irate citizens, sickened by the NRA’s constant arrogant promotion of guns of mass destruction in society especially in the wake of the child shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School,…