Category: Society
Mob Storms Charlton Heston’s Grave, Tear Gun Out His Cold, Dead Hands
Outraged citizens, incensed by the shredding of childrens bodies at Sandy Hook Elementary School last week by a crazy with an assault rifle, turned out in droves at the grave of Charleton Heston, legendary CEO of the National Rifle Association,…
The War on Christmas Is(n’t) a Total Joke
It seems every year we go through the same rigamaroll. In August we crack out the decorations, in November we start the massive shopping season, and in December we enter the War on Christmas territory. Is it a real war,…
How I Successfully Trolled Ali G’s Cousin
A few days ago, for some reason, I was thinking on how to get my revenge on an Autism researcher who knows nothing about his subject and completely eclipses a woman who does, when a really wicked thought came to…
NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry
The National Rifle Association, caught like a raccoon in the headlights by the shooting of grade school children, has been awfully quiet since the incident. The shooting puts them in a very negative light since they support the sales of…
Aztecs Slam “Typical Stupid Mayans” When World Fails to End
Many Aztecs throughout North and Central America rejoiced at the stroke of midnight December 22nd, 2012, as the world failed to end, in accordance with Mayan prophecy. “Those stupid [beeping] Mayans. They’re just wrong about everything,” said Miguel Quattel, an…
Life on the Inside: My Week in a Mental Hospital
As a contributor to the second-longest running group satire site in the world, I’m always looking for a scoop. So when I had a chance to enter a mental health hospital as a patient recently, I couldn’t pass it up….
Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America
McAfee, is one of the world’s most used internet security websites. It is used to protect the computer user from computer viruses and other threats that can attack his machine while he is online. Also now famous is the web…
Conservative/Liberal Brawl: Now Is(n’t) the Time for Gun Control
A liberal and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender’s like, “what is this, a joke?” Actually it’s quite serious, and it covers a grave topic. Conservative columnist and pollster Dean Chambers agreed to talk with liberal news man…
Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial
LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”. The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and…
Word ‘Belated’ Now Only Used In Birthday Messages
BLOOMINGTON – It was revealed Monday by linguistic professors at Indiana University that the word “belated” – an adjective whose origins can been traced back to the year 1610 – is now only used in birthday messages. The word, which…