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FBI Fears NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Fits Profile of Lone Gunman

FBI Fears NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Fits Profile of Lone Gunman

Wayne LaPierre, notorious leader of the gun cult religion known as the NRA, is under investigation by the FBI as fitting the profile of the notorious ‘lone gunman’ so prevalent in modern American literature and films.

His stoney faced demeanor, extreme viewpoints, non-compromising attitude, arsenal of guns and misanthropic disposition fit exactly into the model picture that has evolved in criminology science as being ‘the lone gunman’ persona.

RIGHT: Every press conference and public appearance since last Friday, LaPierre has been accompanied by his “friend”, Mildred. He has offered no explanation and refuses to answer questions about it. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGIFY)

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“We are worried in that Mr. LaPierre fits to a ‘T’ the textbook characterization of the ‘lone gunman’ that has caused a lot of the violent mayhem and mass shootings of the last twenty years.” stated Howler Fitz of the serial killer unit of the FBI Investigations branch.

“He has the look, the arrogance and the armament to be the exact sort of person that we have been bracing ourselves against. He is the Darth Vader of Star Wars, the Lee Harvey Oswald of JFK, the Great White Whale of Moby Dick, the Elmer Fudd of Bugs Bunny. He is the one we need to be watching.”

Investigators studying Mr. LaPierre are alarmed by attitudes and activities that seem consistent with mass murders. These include his seeming callousness towards victims of mass shootings and their families, his abrasiveness with those who don’t agree with his beliefs, his desire to be superior to those around him by having more firepower, a non-human disregard for the lives of others, and a deep seated need to be surrounded by an organization that will offer him a cocoon against a world that he feels wants to devour him.

“He is somewhat that we are definitely going to have to keep our eye on.” stated local State Trooper chief John Ballbreaker. “He is a loner, angry, bitter at a world that doesn’t understand him. His only love in life are pieces of metal and wood constructed in ways to make them machines that can kill anyone who he doesn’t like. Now people want to take those constructed pieces of wood and metal away from him. It makes for an explosive mixture.”

“What he has is a pathological tendency that we find often in small children when they want to build a castle around them to protect them from a world they don’t understand. It is just unusual finding it in a 50 year old man.”

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- who has written 324 posts on GlossyNews.com.

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles.

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5 Responses to “FBI Fears NRA’s Wayne LaPierre Fits Profile of Lone Gunman”

  1. Geral Sosbee says:

    The fbi are little demons in ironed shirts & a facade of red, white, blue.

    USA as the assassins' nation creates & feeds on terrorists.
    A violent and sick nation & gov are in no position to suggest solving the problem w/o first correcting its own macabre & murderous excesses:
    See my reports that suggest that the Jurists and their friends in gov are themselves the problem in many instances:

    http://beforeitsnews.com/war-and-conflict/2011/07/f-b-i-americas-real-criminals-geral-sosbee-856636.html

    alternate links:

    http://barcelona.indymedia.org/newswire/display/460162/index.php

    http://www.newciv.org/nl/newslog.php/_v194/__show_article/_a000194-000496.htm

    http://sosbeevfbi.ning.com/profiles/blogs/committed-to-healing-involuntary-commitment-procedures-a-fraud?xg_source=activity

  2. Brian White says:

    Lordy Geral, I didn't recognize you without your tinfoil hat.

  3. …yeah, he’s out there with the pointed-headed crowd

  4. rfreed says:

    Tune in again tomorrow when we bring you another episode of – THE TWILIGHT ZONE……….

  5. Steve Johnson says:

    rfreed – there is no Howler Fitz at the FBI so therefore, I must conclude that your entire post is either fiction or just a statement of your opinion and an indication of your state of mind.

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