Bad Keming: Than K Yo u Th Ank You

Howdy Interweb folks! I’m Bobby Joe, and this here editorial makin’ kinda guy is known to our all ‘n’ sundries as the Brian K. White.
K is also what you git in the kerning.
Now how do kerning be defined?
Glossy News Bossmaster Brian K. White just done gone tell us, on the Youtube:

Kerning is the adjustment of spacing between printed letters. This, however, is just an abomination.

Abomination? How so, say Bobby Joe?
The only ‘kerning’ y’all need to doing in yer spare timesickles is for to be kerning for yer wife, yer dawg, yer kids, ‘n’ maybe yer favorite government official, pastor, all y’all religious folks o one kind or anuther, and when the goddarn taxman men be comin’ t’ git yer guns.
Other than that, kerning can be left all them stupid highfalutin city folks wi’ their quinoa coffee ‘n’ fancy pick-ups wi’ organic engines.
This here is Bobby Joe for now! See all this here fancy pants little videowebs and share it on the social medias! Or tell yer wife or yer vacation wife where these here video do be made!

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.