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Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (III): Moralists are Killing Satire

Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (III): Moralists are Killing Satire

So let no-one think that by appeasing jihadists or by appeasing unaccountable figures in the countries that Orientalizing intellectuals opportunistically market as ‘the (sole and exclusively) Free World’ that they will avert their malice or their wrath.

For, none of the promises either of political Islamists and jihadists or of humanitarian interventionist intellectuals and counter-jihadists can be trusted or valued.

Indeed. Realpolitik is realpolitik, which is as much as to say that from ‘high-minded idealism,’ nothing better can be expected than high-minded idealism. And there is nothing that savors more of Realpolitik than high-minded idealism, as the terms are merely two superficially different names for the same thing. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary4 Comments

Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (II): Freedom of Speech is Not Idealism

Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (II): Freedom of Speech is Not Idealism

So who decides what is blasphemous or hateful?

Whoever has the power to do so.

But of course, this does not mean that all opinions are equal.

For, it is perfectly true to say that women should treated in light of an intrinsic value identical to men, that gay people are not twisted deviants, and that eugenics and eugenicists are an abomination. These ideas are non-negotiable.

However, moral panics about ‘blasphemy’ and ‘hatred’ in the context of satire serve the interests of reactionaries of every stripe.

Hence, curiously enough, freedom of speech is not the ‘idealist’ or ‘fundamentalist’ position.

Rather, it is precisely because idealistic, abstract and fundamentalist models of reality are unworkable in practice, that freedom of speech is required in the first place! Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary2 Comments

Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (I): Every Truth is Blasphemy

Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (I): Every Truth is Blasphemy

Note: This is a serialization of the essay from the new, expanded edition of my satire ebook, I Shouldn’t Do God. Updates on www.wallacerunnymede.com

Dedicated to the unforgettable and shining martyrs of Charlie Hebdo and Hyper Cacher.

I am still Charlie.

To start off a series of fake news satire anthologies with a volume on religion seems very appropriate, given the vicious massacre of the Charlie Hebdo cartoonists, and the other vicious murders which were committed on the same day at Hyper Cacher.

Some of these murders have already been conveniently ‘forgotten.’

But despite my allusion to these vile assassinations, I am not unaware of the mobilization of the massacre by cynical opportunists.

In the second edition of this essay, which you now see before you, I must also mention the November massacres in Paris. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Serious Commentary2 Comments

Putin’s Taking the Piss over Human Rights, but Let’s not Be Too Smug!

Putin’s Taking the Piss over Human Rights, but Let’s not Be Too Smug!

It turns out that the authoritarian Russian president, Vladimir Putin, has signed a law allowing Russia (or rather, the Russian state!) to avoid following rulings from international human rights courts…

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/russia-human-rights-law_566fc6bbe4b011b83a6c7040

Making such rulings subject to the authority of the Constitutional Court of Russia.

In fairness, I’m sure the latter institution won’t be making any arbitrary decisions. I have no doubt the Russian judiciary is every bit as independent and impartial as it was under Brezhnev, or indeed some of the earlier leading lights of 20th century Russian constitutional democracy. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, World News0 Comments

Conspiracy Theories  #2– Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Look At The Internet Again

Conspiracy Theories #2– Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Look At The Internet Again

Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn’t afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever vigilant against those evil people, organizations, nations and cultures that are out to handicap and repress our great American lifestyle.

The following are the dark, sinister plots we have uncovered this week:

Conspiracy theory #846- Certain religious interests have sabotaged a vital industry that is as close to us as our skins- the condom manufacturers. Uniting under a belief that any sort of sexual union is for the purpose of producing babies only, these fanatics have infiltrated condom factories throughout the world with the intent of degrading their product. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, World News0 Comments

Open Letter to the ‘Noble Liberals.’ Did Paris Victims Bring it on Themselves? (2/2)

Open Letter to the ‘Noble Liberals.’ Did Paris Victims Bring it on Themselves? (2/2)

I really don’t know what they found more offensive; a cartoon of their prophet, or people standing around, dancing and singing and loving and having fun?

So, there’s your dilemma. If Charlie Hebdo brought it on themselves by unnecessarily ‘causing offence,’ then you will have to condemn the innocent people going out and enjoying freedom of expression, freedom of love, and freedom of fun. Continue Reading

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Open Letter to the ‘Noble Liberals.’ Did Paris Victims Bring it on Themselves? (1/2)

Open Letter to the ‘Noble Liberals.’ Did Paris Victims Bring it on Themselves? (1/2)

After the massacre at Charlie Hebdo, the magazine’s defenders were ridiculed as being ‘freedom of speech fundamentalists.’ The ‘semi-non-apologists’ of Coulibaly assumed the usual attitude:

Sure, it’s NOT THAT GREAT to kill someone merely for being a cartoonist… but… OMG, just look at that cartoon! I find that SO offensive!

Now, silence from the conspicuously enlightened Huggy-Downglance Brigade.

No-one dares to speak out, and blame the unnecessary offence and grievance the concert-goers in Paris caused to anyone (not least the ‘wrong kind of liberal’) who believes ‘freedom of speech demands accountability.’ Continue Reading

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New Thanksgiving Holiday Of ‘Gratitude’ Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

New Thanksgiving Holiday Of ‘Gratitude’ Started For Those Who Must Work On The Real Thanksgiving.

In response to the overwhelming growth of Black Friday and its exploitation of the employees who must work in the service industry labor unions, families, certain compassionate government leaders and religious figures have petitioned and won government approval for a ‘pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving’ to make up for the real Thanksgiving that is now almost a non-existent entity.

So many are having to work on what used to be an almost sacred holiday due to the seasonal avarice of companies such as Walmart, McDonald’s, Target, Home Depot, Best Buy and others who see Christmas only as a platform for making great profits due to peoples sentimentalities and don’t mind killing off another quieter holiday to get their way. Continue Reading

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Iain Duncan Smith: ‘IDS Saves Disabled from Useless Suffering’ (2/2)

Iain Duncan Smith: ‘IDS Saves Disabled from Useless Suffering’ (2/2)

Don’t underestimate notable ‘quiet man’ Iain Duncan Smith.

I mean, he was critical of Blair’s achingly well-meaning intervention in Afghanistan, so the Tories are obviously nicer than New Labour!

The proof is in the pudding, after all. By their fruits you shall know them…

But enough of the trite cliches. I daresay this is not so much about flamboyant rhetoric.

As a compassionate conservative, I simply cannot just sit there, and see the dysgenic community in such evident distress.

And as I have so often heard from our sickly, effete, well-meaning but ineffective and sentimentally bleeding-heart leftie opponents and enemies: ‘The first principle: Do no harm.’ Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, World News0 Comments

Iain Duncan Smith: ‘IDS Saves Disabled from Useless Suffering’ (1/2)

Iain Duncan Smith: ‘IDS Saves Disabled from Useless Suffering’ (1/2)

Iain Duncan Smith has recently shed some Blair tears over disabled people in the UK.

However, believe it or not, most disabled people have been so arrogant and ungrateful as to repudiate his compassionate conservatism!

You know, for too long, the dysgenic community in the UK has been neglected by our government.

Let us never forget that in addition to perfectly normal, non-disabled people, there are also some Untermenschen among us, and this is simply too important to ignore.

No, it is absolutely unacceptable that we should merely leave the dysgenic community and its various individual integral synthetic components alone. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, World News0 Comments

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (2/2)

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (2/2)

The old story continues:

I AM NOT WHITE!!!

Uh-uh-uhhh! I am Jeb Bush, and I’m not white.

Forget it! I’m just a standard-issue regular guy, like every one of you. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (1/2)

Jeb Bush: I’m Not ‘White!’ Just a Regular Guy! (1/2)

The achingly well-meaning notable 3.0 du jour has put his foot in it again. Just read his comments at the recent ‘White Community-Black Community GOP Competitive Co-operation 1000 Dollar Dinner’ in the Seattle Hilton.

You know what, I want to address all you black folks somewhere out there in the audience, and thank you all from the bottom of my coffers… uh, my heart.

Because you guys are more or less exactly my kind of people, and I know you just wouldn’t be here if you weren’t supportive of my agenda… uh, my program.

I really mean that, with all my heart. It’s a bit like, well, you remember that achingly sincere video where John McCain congratulated… uh, what’s that guy’s name again? Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Rand Paul: ‘Black & LGBT Folks? Just Try Another Bus!’

Rand Paul: ‘Black & LGBT Folks? Just Try Another Bus!’

Rand Paul has recently denied the legitimacy of laws forbidding discrimination against LGBT employees.

But this is not the only argument he has ever made in this vein. See this transcript of some previously unrevealed comments he made at a college.

OK. Yes, from a purely moral, or dare I say ‘moralistic’ point of view, it wasn’t very pleasant for black people to not be allowed to sit on the front of the bus.

I mean, in fairness, if some people in the USA started banning Jews, Muslims, disabled people, women, or anyone else of that general, y’know, ‘diverse’ type, then I think that would actually be kind of petty and mean-spirited!

Well, from a particular point of view, I guess. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Society0 Comments

American Philanthropists Resent Vilification of 80s Tory Leader

American Philanthropists Resent Vilification of 80s Tory Leader

Wallace Runnymede is currently being persecuted by the malign and conspiratorial forces of international global justice, for his tiresome, lamentable screed on NewsBiscuit:

http://newsbiscuit.com/forum/topic.php?id=93562

Estate of Unnamed 80s Tory Leader Arranges ‘Racist Wildebeest’ Superinjunction.

This headline has nothing whatsoever to do with pro-apartheid South African wildlife, in case you were wondering.

In fact, it has nothing whatsoever to do with former Tory leaders, the estates of former Tory leaders, wildebeest, racist wildebeest, racism, racists, authoritarian political systems in postcolonial Africa (South Africa or otherwise), or the funny little hoof marks outside the ‘dogging’ station at Number 10. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics0 Comments

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (2/2)

Last time:

Still, I thought things might pick up a bit when I scouted a better deal at the Baha’is and the Ahmadis.

Unfortunately, however, thing didn’t get that much better.

I mean, it was an improvement to some degree, I even got the title of “Manifestation of God,” which was pretty cool, albeit not a patch on my past glory.

I mean, these two jobs were fairly stable, fairly safe, but I kind of got a bit disillusioned. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)

Jesus Deplores Decline in his Social Mobility (1/2)

Jesus thinks his career has been on the slide for millennia (if not for eternity), and he’s just sick of it.

You know, I was once at the absolute top of the pile in the job market. Full-time Son of God.

Actually God.

But you know what? The higher you get, the further you fall. Now I’m starting to know how Wotan feels.

So how did I get to this dire state? Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Religionism0 Comments

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