October Surprise from Autism Speaks: They No Longer Want a Cure? (1/2)

WALLACE’S NOTE: Although the following story is about the ‘October Surprise’ from Autism Speaks, the decision in question may have some long term implications.

Autism speaks has published a new mission statement:

Autism Speaks is dedicated to promoting solutions, across the spectrum and throughout the lifespan, for the needs of individuals with autism and their families through advocacy and support; increasing understanding and acceptance of autism spectrum disorder; and advancing research into causes and better interventions for autism spectrum disorder and related conditions.

Saliently absent is the word “cure” from their mission statement which they had in the past: Read more October Surprise from Autism Speaks: They No Longer Want a Cure? (1/2)

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What is Done & What Isn’t Done: All’s Painful in Love & Politics

In life, I don’t regret what I have actually done, half as much as I’ve regretted what I didn’t do when I had the chance, or what I did do, but did in a way that was omitting to do something very important. Read more What is Done & What Isn’t Done: All’s Painful in Love & Politics

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Autism: Advantage with Women & Aphrodisiac? Autism Can Land You a Hot Girlfriend

Autism diagnoses started to soar in the 1990s and those new cases are now adults in their early twenties.  Society and the media have noted the need for employers to hire those on the spectrum.  This has lead to major media outlets such as the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times publishing articles on how autism is an advantage in the workplace and how it can land you a job.  Read more Autism: Advantage with Women & Aphrodisiac? Autism Can Land You a Hot Girlfriend

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Autism and the Single Life: Humorous Quotes to take the Sting out of Celibacy

Celibacy is a real problem for many autistic males. You don’t get to hear about it much because the powers that be only publicizes writings of successful autistics like Stephen Shore who can get married and Temple Grandin, a female who claims to be celibate by choice. The problems of the invisible autistic adult are ignored and people act like autistics remain Peter Pans.

Most of the internet autistics do not write much about this problem. Trust me, it is there, it exists. Read more Autism and the Single Life: Humorous Quotes to take the Sting out of Celibacy

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Do We Know How to Spot the Dictator’s Pronoun? (Just No Idea, Have We)

The glorious Fuhrer has brought each one of US peace and stability…

Comrade Lenin inspires US all to move forward to win our freedom, under the banner of proletarian scientific socialist Marxist-Leninist thought.

But the evil Arab Muslim tyrant Assad is killing his own people, WE can’t just sit there!!!

Look, WE made a few mistakes in our foreign policy but well hey, what can I say! Shit happens, gotta go with the flow, right?

Read more Do We Know How to Spot the Dictator’s Pronoun? (Just No Idea, Have We)

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Inclusion Humor (II): ‘Hey, Can I Celebrate Your Diversity?’ Uh, no… Please Don’t

There is a ‘text’ and a ‘subtext’ so ubiquitous now, I feel it would be very unhelpful to attribute it to any one person. I do not wish to blame any one individual, or any number of individuals; clearly, the problem is a very ‘deep’ and ‘structural’ one, rather than being a question of a few people holding a niche view.

The prevailing notion is:

Neurodiversity is great and should be celebrated; what a dull world it would be, if there were no neurodiversity.

OK. How about these ones: Read more Inclusion Humor (II): ‘Hey, Can I Celebrate Your Diversity?’ Uh, no… Please Don’t

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Inclusion Humor (I): The Complexity of Accessibility

Accessibility is a very current topic, but not all framings of accessibility are alike. Spot the difference:

University admissions

A

We must have 50% of young people attending university, to make us viable competitors on the world stage, and set our stamp on world affairs as leading enlightened, dynamic and creative figures in the international community.

B

Artificial barriers to university cause many problems. People feel discouraged, alienated and disenfranchised. For individuals from many communities, there is a knock-on effect on equality and access to other resources.

Gender balance in academic disciplines Read more Inclusion Humor (I): The Complexity of Accessibility

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BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too (2/2)

Hope you enjoyed the first instalment!

Here is more pitiful bien-pensant claptrap from the BBC, following their recent flamboyantly privileged nitpicking over the term ‘Islamic State.’

The ‘Republicains’ of Sarkozy are now the ‘soi-disant Republicans,’ because some members of other parties believe that they are the true inheritors of ‘la Republique.’

BBC journalists must never speak of the Lega Nord, because the Lega Nord cannot speak for all northern Italians. Anyway, where does the North end and the South begin?

The Republican party cannot be called the GOP, because the Democrats are also fairly ‘Great’ and ‘Old.’ And you can also probably guess why some Republicans have convinced the BBC to speak of the ‘so-called Democrats.’ Read more BBC Try to Stop Offending Islamic State… & All the Other Ones Too (2/2)

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My Plan to Donate My Powerball Jackpot Winnings to the Kids in Africa

Powerball jackpot - Tim with kidsI was really bummed to learn that I did not win the recent $1.6 billion Powerball jackpot. I was so close to winning it all. I was only off by four or five numbers. Drat! It took me a while to overcome the shock and disappointment of my razor thin loss.But after a week of eating nothing but cookie dough ice cream and Double Stuff Oreos by the sleeve, I was able to get out of bed and face the reality that my near term future would not include a castle surrounded by an alligator-filled moat after all.

My deep despair got me to thinking: What would I do if I actually won the billion dollar jackpot? I reflected on this question for what seemed like hours but was actually the duration of a TV commercial about hemorrhoid cream. I wrote down a list of things that I would do with the money if I were lucky enough to win.

I’m not hinting that my incredible list of philanthropic plans makes me a better person than you. I’m not hinting anything at all. Let me spell it out for you. I’m a way better person than you – at least I will be, once I get my hands on that money.

As someone who is profoundly deep and constantly reflects on the meaning of life whenever I’m not hungry, I realize I have been given a great amount over the course of my life – starting with two (occasionally) wonderful daughters. But there are so many others who have been given far less. So, if I were to win the Powerball jackpot, it would be my heartfelt desire to travel to Africa to provide food and clothing to all the starving children of that great nation. (I’m pretty sure Africa is a nation). And I would build them a modern school with clean, safe running water, and give each child their very own iPad, pre-loaded with both Minecraft and Candy Crush – for educational purposes only. I would do this because, let’s face it, it’s all about the kids. And I already have everything I need…

Powerball jackpot - CarsExcept for a private jet. Yeah, I would love to get me one of those babies – um, so that I could transport food and clothing to the starving kids in Africa, of course. And my jet would come with a scantily clad female flight attendant with a sexy British accent, and she’d serve me Martinis. I don’t even like Martinis, but who cares? And just as soon as I got my private jet, I would immediately get to work on helping those starving, shabbily dressed kids in Africa…

Right after I bought myself one of those solid platinum smart phones like the type the bad guy has in a Bond film – right before Bond kisses the bad guy’s girlfriend and leaps into the bad guy’s stainless steel Lamborghini – which just happens to have the keys in it. And as soon as I got my platinum smart phone, I would conference call a team of helpers to fly over to Africa in advance of my arrival, to start feeding and clothing those needy, half-naked kids.

With a billion dollars, just think about how many disadvantaged kids in Africa I could help. And I would rush to their rescue on my sweet new 100-foot luxury yacht, complete with its own surfing pool – oh, and a helipad – so that my new celebrity friends could drop in as my yacht is cruising the Pacific Ocean, somewhere between Vanuatu and Tonga – which, now that I think of it, probably have a lot of kids who could use some food and clothing, too.

You see, if I win the next Powerball jackpot, I believe in giving back to those who are far needier than I – so long as they give this post a Like on Facebook, otherwise they’re dead to me. Those starving, stark naked kids are my Number One priority, absolutely… once I get my first billion dollars…

Number one, that is, right after I buy myself a couple of masterpiece paintings. I’m thinking perhaps an original Picasso. I’m really not all that particular as to which one – so long as it has a woman with at least three eyes and four breasts. It would go nicely in my man cave next to my Seahawks lava lamp.

But as soon as that painting is in place and my indoor bowling alley is built, I’ll be on the phone lickety-split, making sure nothing gets in the way of my helping those poor starving kids wherever the heck they are…

Powerball jackpot - hover cartOh, and my own wild animal park. Nothing too fancy. Just big enough for all my elephants, giraffes, zebras and lions to roam around in – oh and one of those cool safari lodges where your bed is under the stars, and you have Tiki torches – with armed guards to make sure no rhinos attack while you’re sleeping. Maybe I could hire some of those starving kids to guard the perimeter.

And once I have bought all of these necessities, nothing will keep me from placing a few calls to see if someone can airlift a couple crates of corn or millet or maybe some Huggies to those kids in Peru or Cambodia or West Virginia or wherever they are.

My point is, I care about the kids. Not sure which country’s kids at the moment, but it will come to me later. I just hope I win the next billion-dollar Powerball jackpot. Because I have some great ideas for how to use all that dough to buy some incredibly awesome toys – um, for the kids. It’s all about the kids.

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Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (V): The Gilded Birdcage of Spoilt Gods

Quite frankly, if someone believes that children must be deprived of blood transfusions (Jehovah’s Witnesses), or of all medical care (Christian Scientists), or that women are the property of men, or that gay people are sodomites who are all going to eternal hellfire, or that disabled people are suffering the results of our evil and atrocious deeds in the past…

Then that concerns me very deeply.

But on the other hand, if someone personally believes that Jesus literally turned the water into wine, that Muhammad made the moon split in two, or that Sri Krishna performed many wondrous miracles, then in all seriousness, that does not trouble me in the least. There are more important things in life to worry about.

But even so, concerning ‘limits’ to satire, I will affirm that I do reserve the inalienable right to treat religion as not pristine, as not above theoretical critique, or above satirizing, or above ‘blasphemy.’

And I have little to no respect for anyone who makes religion exceptional, in terms of the inalienable right and sovereign prerogative to criticize and satirize; an entitlement and a ‘privilege’ that can and must be shared be all like, without neither cavil nor complaint.

‘Shame on me,’ indeed! Read more Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (V): The Gilded Birdcage of Spoilt Gods

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Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (IV): Are Critics of Religion ‘Hateful Extremists?’

But what, then, are my own limits for religious satire?
I will not provide an exhaustive discussion here.

I will, however, say that I do not believe that religion is either a ‘force for good’ or a ‘force for evil’ in some one-sided sense.

For, superstition and dogmatism are great evils, but I do not think that the history of religion is merely or even primarily a catalogue of backward, primitive errors, as so many of the ‘New Atheists’ seem to imply.

Of course, if it is not the intention of any New Atheists, to imply such, then perhaps there is something very faulty with their rhetorical and communicative strategies. This would not perhaps be so surprising, given that much New Atheist rhetoric is deeply problematic.

For example, I consider the late humanitarian interventionist and former Luxemburgist radical, Christopher Hitchens, to be an intellectual suicide bomber who destroyed himself and the consciences of anyone who stood by and approved of his disingenuous, militaristic sophistries. Read more Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (IV): Are Critics of Religion ‘Hateful Extremists?’

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Conspiracy Theories #3 – More Nightmares To Ruin Your Sleep

Conspiracy Theories #3 – More Nightmares To Ruin Your Sleep

Conspiracy Theories is the hard hitting website that isn’t afraid to investigate and expose the dark forces that seek to prey in so many devious ways upon the general publicum. We are here because you need us! We are ever vigilant against those evil people, organizations, nations and cultures that are out to handicap and repress our great American lifestyle.

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The following are the dark, sinister plots we have uncovered this week:

Conspiracy Theory #934- Unscrupulous sleeping pill manufactures have been putting timed release micro-bits of caffeine in their sleeping pills to stimulate their sales. Determined to sell more by waking back up the very people who have been faithfully purchasing their products, these sleazy salesmen of scandalously non-salubrious saturated sleep aids have been wrecking the health of American citizens for months now. Read more Conspiracy Theories #3 – More Nightmares To Ruin Your Sleep

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Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (III): Moralists are Killing Satire

So let no-one think that by appeasing jihadists or by appeasing unaccountable figures in the countries that Orientalizing intellectuals opportunistically market as ‘the (sole and exclusively) Free World’ that they will avert their malice or their wrath.

For, none of the promises either of political Islamists and jihadists or of humanitarian interventionist intellectuals and counter-jihadists can be trusted or valued.

Indeed. Realpolitik is realpolitik, which is as much as to say that from ‘high-minded idealism,’ nothing better can be expected than high-minded idealism. And there is nothing that savors more of Realpolitik than high-minded idealism, as the terms are merely two superficially different names for the same thing. Read more Charlie Hebdo Anniversary Tribute (III): Moralists are Killing Satire

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