Archive | Health

BDSM Blamed on PCB’s

BDSM Blamed on PCB’s

One medical report just leaked to the Transgender Gazette by government whistleblowers indicates something really does stink in Denmark – and it’s definitely not Hamlet’s socks.

The Copenhagen government yesterday admitted that leaked official research proved pregnant mothers, new-born babies and developing infant children are at risk from an array of gender-bending chemicals present in such commonplace items as toilet paper, goldfish food, Polish chicken portions, depleted uranium, Kelloggs Testosterone Flakes, Iranian bratwurst, Mongolian sauerkraut, Chinese fly swatters, KY jelly, suppositories, and battery-caged Cassowary eggs. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road

Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road

According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really, the BBC published a report on it. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest0 Comments

FDA Approve Female ‘Viagra’, 4-hr Erection Notice Remains

FDA Approve Female ‘Viagra’, 4-hr Erection Notice Remains

Worry not ladies, the medical profession now unanimously accepts that it’s not your fault you no longer have the insatiable libido of a 17-year-old nympho’ and don’t ‘sexperience’ multiple juice-gushing orgasms every time you get yourself off with a rampant rabbit vibrator or freshly-chilled cucumber sheathed in a Black Mamba ribbed condom – or while getting a good doggy-style bonking across the kitchen table from the wetback beaner stud who mows your lawns. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Human Interest1 Comment

Viagra Concession Ends Transit Strike

Viagra Concession Ends Transit Strike

Philadelphia, PA – Transit workers in Philadelphia, threatening to continue their strike for a raise in more than their salaries, have won a battle with the Southern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority to have most of their health care costs covered, including full-month prescriptions for Viagra and similar prescription medicines to treat erectile dysfunction (ED). Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health2 Comments

Kellogg’s New “Panacea Puffs” Claims to Cure All

Kellogg’s New “Panacea Puffs” Claims to Cure All

Weird and bizarre nutritional claims come and go – alongside the passage of a Millennium’s ages – and too with the flight of short fickle seasons.

Raw mammoth meat provided our cave-dwelling ancestors with the virility and stamina to survive the last Ice Age. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Kidz Zone0 Comments

Health Emergency Declared at Strip Clubs Citing H1N1 Fears, This Time

Health Emergency Declared at Strip Clubs Citing H1N1 Fears, This Time

President Barack Obama officially declared a public health emergency due to H1N1 on Friday evening, and did so with a gusto uncustomary even for him.

The Obama Administration said this proclamation will waive certain standard federal requirements as needed, on a case-by-case basis, specifically pertaining to peep and/or tug n’ grind entertainment facilities. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health0 Comments

UN Official Calls for Promotion of Sodomy, Buggery, Family Values

UN Official Calls for Promotion of Sodomy, Buggery, Family Values

At the United Nations Population Control Conference in Istanbul last week the Saudi Arabian-born executive director of the UN Population Fund, MsThoraya Obaid, called for more funding for the propagation of Third World population control and the ‘de-stigmatizing’ of sodomy.

Obaid began her remarks by commemorating the 40th anniversary of Ronnie Turdprodder’s book, ‘Take it Like a Man’, which had awakened readers worldwide to the threat of overpopulation and doubly appeased the Vatican hierarchy regarding contraception issues by promoting the practice of sodomy as the surest method of birth control, of which Catholic priests had been fully cognisant for centuries. (Anyone ever seen a pregnant choirboy?) Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Strange People1 Comment

NHS Mobile Heart Surgery Scheme Wins Kudos

NHS Mobile Heart Surgery Scheme Wins Kudos

Like most people with any modicum of common sense Hector McTwat has an innate fear and loathing of hospitals – especially so with the current scourge of MRSA and other flesh-eating necrotic infections patients seem to catch while in any of the National Ill-Health Services’ dodgy infirmaries for more than five minutes. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health0 Comments

Tomcat Registered as Hypnotherapist

Tomcat Registered as Hypnotherapist

While the age-old adage of “Even a cat can look at a King” might now be clichéd and threadbare the regulation of Nation Health Service medical staff – specifically qualified hypnotherapists – in the UK is so slipshod that even a cat can become accredited, according to a report in last weekend’s Daily Shitraker magazine supplement. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health0 Comments

Europe Bans Pregnancy Cheese

Europe Bans Pregnancy Cheese

A supermarket has apologised to one of its teenage female customers after she was told she could not buy mature Cheddar cheese due being pregnant.

Candida Muffitch, a 15-year old schoolgirl currently studying for her A-Level exams in Benefit Fraud and Basic Counterfeiting, asked for a quarter pound of the mature cheese at the deli’ section of a Pukesbury’s store in Smegmadale last week. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Society1 Comment

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

Disturbing Sexual Trend Gives Kids New Place To Stick It

Columbus, OH – A mother and daughter wait in a sterile examining room. The daughter shifts uncomfortably on the crinkly paper sheet atop the standard issue table bed. The news from the doctor is grim: the girl may never hear again.

“What?” the girl replies. It’s like the punch line to a cruel joke, but no one’s laughing. Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health2 Comments

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

America’s Health Insurers Blow Millions on High Priced Hook

Just when you thought America’s health insurance companies couldn’t kick us any harder in the collective ass, comes the news that the insurance industry has paid coo-coo bucks for a study which says that if the present proposed health care bill is passed through legislation, it will be the cause for existing insurance premiums to rise. Say wha? Continue Reading

Share

Posted in Health, Politics2 Comments

Page 20 of 23« First...10...1819202122...Last »
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

DHgate.com



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial