Taylor Swift Diagnosed with Venereal Diseases

Today, surprising information came to light which reveals that Taylor Swift was recently treated for gonorrhea and chlamydia of her genitalia and throat by a VDC (venereal disease clinic).

Further details show that the chart-topping songstress has also received treatment for herpes, syphilis, human papilloma virus (HPV), trichomoniasis, scabies, and pubic lice (crabs).

Ms. Swift’s file also shows that she has miraculously escaped infection with HIV or any form of hepatitis during her hit-making string of break-ups, despite an alleged relationship with Ed Sheeran, rumoured to be a drug abuser.

When contacted, the Massachusetts clinic she attended stated that although they could neither confirm or deny having ever seen any particular client, they could say that any information would never have come from any of their employees, all of whom are made aware of the importance of patient confidentiality.

Nor did they have any comment to make on the urgency of Ms. Swift’s treatment due to her pregnancy with two children of different stages of gestation, each possibly having a different father.

In a final twist, accompanying the documents that were sent to me was a USB flash drive, on which was a video of Ms. Swift herself revealing plans for a string of lesbian relationships because of a reduced chance of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and pregnancy as well as a number of hits with an alternative viewpoint from her usual offerings.

Author: Sheogorath

As an Autie with a very warped imagination (IOO) and an extremely wicked sense of humour (IMO), I make quite a good satirist (also IMO), especially when writing songs about fanfiction, the Internet, or Disney.

14 thoughts on “Taylor Swift Diagnosed with Venereal Diseases

  1. This is not satire, it is pure hate and slander.
    “It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it’s libel.” – J. Jonah Jameson.
    Please learn the difference. Also, under the law in both the UK and the US, defamation can only occur if someone says or writes something that makes people think less of the person defamed. Which begs the question: how is this article libelling Taylor Swift when it won’t make her fans think any less of her and everybody else already does?

  2. Thank you for writing the ultimate "Hate Taylor" story. I'm sure there are millions of Taylor-haters who are willing to believe every word of it. Now they will be occupied for quite a while chewing on their new "bone". I thought I heard that she votes with the Communist Party too, and isn't she a KKK supporter also?

  3. Thank you for writing the ultimate "Hate Taylor" story. I'm sure there are millions of Taylor-haters who are willing to believe every word of it. Now they will be occupied for quite a while chewing on their new "bone". I thought I heard that she votes with the Communist Party too, and isn't she a KKK supporter also?

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