Posted in Science Top Stories

NASA Claims Solar Flare Mistaken for Distress Signal

A visibly distraught NASA Director Sharon Love spoke to reporters this week about what she called ‘that stupid thing with space aliens.’ “Look, I seriously don’t have time for this. My assignment is outreach to the Muslim world, period. When…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NASA Claims Solar Flare Mistaken for Distress Signal
Posted in Science

Komodo Dragon Genome Escapes from Computer Lab

Austin, Tex. — An entire Komodo Dragon genome has reportedly got loose from a MySQL database at Infinite Loop Biological Research Co. in Austin, Tex. and is already starting to breed and reproduce itself in computers and computer networks worldwide….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Komodo Dragon Genome Escapes from Computer Lab
Posted in Science

New Species of Lunatic Discovered

Psycho-zoology has long been considered a low-glamour science. While botanists and biologists regularly grab headlines with new discoveries, psycho-zoologists labor in obscurity. Experts have always believed there aren’t any new ‘burnt cookie’ species to be identified, due to the thorough…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Species of Lunatic Discovered
Posted in Science

Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France

First it was fishes, then it was birds, now it’s poodles. Thousands of standard poodles are dropping like flies in France. While miniature, tea cup, toy and other varieties of poodles seem to be thriving in France and other parts…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Poodles Dropping Like Flies in France
Posted in Politics Science

Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research

Scientists researching the phenomena of Politically Incorrect Mass Propaganda Syndrome (PIMPS) announced a breakthrough into the biggest question of 2010: “What makes Sarah Palin perpetually politically relevant?” After statistically modeling data from thousands of successful people, researchers contend that the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research
Posted in Science

New Planet Discovered; Patriotic Americans Worry about Jobs

Scientists are still excited over the discovery of a habitable planet orbiting the nearby red dwarf star, Gliese 581. However, the discovery has many Americans wondering what the government plans to do in the event of an alien invasion. “We…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Planet Discovered; Patriotic Americans Worry about Jobs
Posted in Science Science & Technologizzy

Center of Known Universe Found During Routine Colonoscopy

University researchers have made a startling discovery after a routine colonoscopy of a 50 year old native American man revealed a phenomenon. The discovery is known in layman’s terms as….The Center of the Known Universe! The true Theta Victa Gamma…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Center of Known Universe Found During Routine Colonoscopy
Posted in Health Science

Cape Ground Squirrel Study: Masturbation Necessary to Avoid STDs

A recent study has concluded that male Cape ground squirrels have a reason for being one of the most prolific wanking species on the planet. They are ensuring the healthiness of their privates. One has to wonder if these study…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Cape Ground Squirrel Study: Masturbation Necessary to Avoid STDs
Posted in Science Television

Noted Anthropologist – Early Man “Flintstone” was Homosexual

Sure, you remember him. Yes, that adorable Fred Flintstone wearing his cave man outfit of an animal skin over one shoulder and hanging around with best friend Barney Rubble. The Flintstones were the modern age vision of a Stone Age…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Noted Anthropologist – Early Man “Flintstone” was Homosexual
Posted in Religionism Science

Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap

MOUNT ARARAT, Turkey (GlossyNews) — In the close-knit evangelical archeological community, few can recall more dizzying heights and tragic lows in such a short time span. The Xinyou Qing Project (rough English translation, ‘We go find Ark now’) first grabbed…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Recently Discovered Noah’s Ark Artifacts Destroyed in Quran Bonfire Mishap