Archive | Environment

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

Miliband the Millipede Promises Green Jobs For All

One of Britain’s biggest employers in the green energy industry is to cease production within hours of a paradoxical government announcement today pledging as many as 400,000 green jobs by 2015. Continue Reading

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Prince Chucklehead: Environmental Savior, Saviour and Savant

Prince Chucklehead: Environmental Savior, Saviour and Savant

His Royal Highness Charles – the bat-eared Prince of Snails – is urging the common landless peasants of Merrie England to give up their cars in favour of walking or public transport to try to reduce carbon emissions and save large sections of the planet that he and his Mum own personally. Continue Reading

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EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

EPA: Free Speech Causes Global Warming

Washington, DC (BNSE): The Environmental Protection Agency released its updated quarterly findings today, which placed “Free Speech Carbon Emissions” as “one of the largest unchecked sources of Carbon Dioxide contamination in North America.” Continue Reading

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Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

Racist Row Revving Up, Four Sure to End Up on the Floor

A Smegmadale driver spent two nights in jail after being accused of the latest numpty-dumpty politically-incorrect crime of “revving his car in a racist manner”. Continue Reading

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Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

Japan Finally Makes Worse Car Than U.S.

TOKYO, JAPAN- Japanese engineers working for Toyota shocked the world today by announcing that they have at long last created a car worse than any car made in the United States. After a bold promise made by Chief Engineer Fukashi Tokiru in the late nineties to match American ineptitude, Toyota’s engineers finally came through, creating a car that is more terrible than any American counterpart. Continue Reading

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Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Welcome to the EU’s New Dark Ages

Under the latest stupid EU ruling the manufacture and import of 100 watt incandescent light bulbs in Britain will be banned in favour of the CFL energy-saving variety – by which you can’t see to read – or write – brush your hair, wipe your arse, tie your shoe laces or shave without cutting your own throat. Continue Reading

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Arctic Now Hot Enough to Grow Grapes

Arctic Now Hot Enough to Grow Grapes

Arctic temperatures are now higher than at any time in the last 2,000 years according to a personal report given to Fox News by the dipshit UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon who has just spent the past week wandering around in his underpants and a pair of flip flops north of the 66th parallel to investigate for himself if all this propaganda-driven brouhaha and panic put out by the Al Bore camp and the Carbon Exchange Cap n Trade shysters is founded on truth – or bullshit spewed out from the usual ‘all-for-greater-profits’ anal mechanism. Continue Reading

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White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

New York – In the current edition of The Nation magazine, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel charges that President Bush is personally responsible for burning California’s economy. Continue Reading

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Fat Gits Causing Global Warming

Fat Gits Causing Global Warming

This week’s Dogwanker’s Review headline reveals that being overweight is bad for the environment as well as your health, according to the results of a leaked survey financed by the Ministry for Wasting Money. Researchers at the London School for Idiotic Studies found that overweight people were likely to be more responsible for carbon emissions than skinny people because they eat more food and their cars consume more fuel to move the extra weigh around. Continue Reading

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